Putting The Pieces Back Together
by JustAnotherMutant
Summary: A 26 year old Robin is struck with amnesia and can't remember the last decade of his life. Now, with the help of an unexpected companion, he must sift through the tragedy of his past and rebuild his present and future. (Updated progress report at the end
1. Awakening

Hey guys, thanks for checking out this story. This is the revised version and now Chapter Seven is updated as well. This story is now going to be 10 chapters (the tenth being an epilogue) and I will hopefully have it all finished by Christmas break. Please read and review, I really appreciate it!

As always, I do not own any of these characters. Seriously, not even the doctor.

-JustAnotherMutant

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Chapter One: Awakening

Beep

Beep

Beep

It was the first thing he heard before his eyes opened. It was a steady metronome emitting an electronic beeping sound. Right before his vision cleared, and he was able to take in his surroundings, Robin recognized the sound as a life support system.

"Aaah!" He sat up suddenly, feeling dizzy and confused. 'How...how did I get here? What happened...?'

"Aah!"

Robin quickly snapped his head to the other direction to see who had shouted. The shock of waking up in a hospital room was hard enough to take in; he hadn't even realized there was another person in the room. The lights were off, so Robin couldn't tell who was sitting next to his hospital bed, but the voice sounded familiar enough.

"Hey!" the dark figure shouted out the door, "He's awake! You guys! He's awake!"

The voice was different than what Robin remembered, but still it was unmistakable.

"...Raven?"

This time, it wasn't Raven's voice that sounded different to Robin, it was his own.

"Oh god...I...I almost thought you weren't going to pull through, Rob."

Although grateful, Robin was a bit puzzled. 'Raven stayed in my room and watched over me? How...weird. I mean, I know she's my friend and everything, but...I never knew she cared that much.'

"Th...thanks, Rae. For looking after me and all, I didn't know you cared."

Raven wiped a tear away from her face, "Hah. Very funny, Richard."

Before he could contemplate how Raven had learned his real name, the light went on in the room and three familiar figures walked in. One in particular, Robin couldn't wait to see.

"Star!" Robin wanted to jump out of bed and rush over to his girlfriend Starfire. If anyone could help him make sense of all this, it was her. But when he tried, Raven and a large man in a trench coat restrained him and placed him back in his bed.

"Richard? How do you feel, friend? Are you well?"

Robin frowned. "I'm fine, but why so distant Star? Come here."

Starfire hesitated, and looked from Robin to Raven and back again before finally saying "...Alright" and walking over to Robin's bed.

As soon as she got close enough, Robin grabbed Starfire by the shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Mmph!!" Starfire pushed Robin away and stepped back. Just before a full-blown frenzy broke out, a doctor came running into the room.

"Wait! Wait! Everyone remain calm! There is some vital information I need all of you to see." The doctor held up a sheet containing Robin's cat-scan results. "As you can see," he said "there is an abnormality in Mr. Grayson's memory, at first glance it appears to be nothing more than a common case of amnesia..."

Robin stared at the doctor. 'Is this guy some kind of quack or something? Did he just say I have amnesia??' "Um...Doctor, I think there must be some mistake. I don't have amnesia, I remember everything."

Pieter Cross sighed. Of all his years practicing medicine, he had never come across a case like this before. He took a deep breath in, and then continued. "Your case of amnesia, Mr. Grayson, is...unique. I have never seen anything like it, and don't let the young face fool you, I've been at this for a LONG time. You remember who you are, you remember what everything is, and what everything does. However...you seem to have forgotten the last ten years of your life. It is as if time as stopped for you, and the last ten years haven't happened at all. Tell us, Mr. Grayson, how...how old are you?"

Robin stared at the doctor in front of him, and then over at his friends. Now that the initial shock had worn off, and the lights were on, he was able to see their faces clearly. They were faces he only half recognized. Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, and the man he could only assume to be Speedy. They all must be half way through their twenty's. Slowly, he spoke.

"I...I'm 16. ...Aren't I?"

"Now, Mr. Grayson, if you will, answer this question for me. What is the last thing you remember, before waking up here?"

Robin wracked his brain. "I...was on a date with Star, we were seeing a movie. And then...and then our communicators went off, and we met up with the rest of the Titans to fight Mumbo again. It wasn't much of a fight but...by the time we were finished, the movie had ended, so Star and I went back to the tower with the others and then we..." He let himself trail off as his cheeks turned a bright crimson.

Starfire let out a gasp. She knew exactly what night Robin was talking about. It may have been nearly a decade ago, but even after that long, one never really forgets the night they lose their virginity.

Dr. Cross continued; his voice slow and forceful, yet kind and reassuring at the same time. "Robin. I want you to listen to me very carefully, and I want you to remain calm, and just hear what I have to say. Robin, today's date, is August 11, 2014. You are 26 years old. You can't remember the past ten years of your life, but the world has passed you by. After talking it over with your friends, we've decided that you will go with them. Perhaps if you go home, and surround yourself with the people, places, and things of your life, your memory will return. Amnesia is rarely permanent...however, since yours is a case unlike any I have ever seen, I...cannot make any promises."

Robin heard everything Dr. Cross said, but he was only barely paying attention. He understood that the good doctor was just trying to speak to him calmly so he wouldn't freak out or anything, but Robin wasn't really the 'freak out' type. His mind was trying it's best to find an answer to his problem, but it kept getting distracted. He was trying his best to stay focused, but his gaze kept moving from Dr. Cross over to the shapely Tamaranian to his left. By Robin's calculations, Starfire was now 25 years old, and he felt like he was living every boy's dream. How often do you get to go to sleep, and then wake up only to find your 15 year old girlfriend a stunning and fully developed woman.

After Dr. Cross had finished, he and Speedy went out into the hall to talk. Cyborg was about to follow when Robin finally spoke up again.

"So...I'm...twenty-six, huh?"

Raven smiled at him. "That you are, Rich."

Robin lifted his hands up, almost unbelievingly to inspect them. As he did, a small gold ring caught his attention. "Is...is this? Star? Did we...I mean, I guess we did."

"Did what, Richard?"

Robin grinned as he looked down at his hand. "Get married. I mean, I always hoped we would, and it doesn't really surprise me, I mean, I love you, Star. It's just...kind of weird, you know, to see the ring here."

Biting her lip, Raven suddenly ran out of the room, tears filling her eyes. Cautiously, Starfire glanced back at Robin, and then, as if with a heavy heart, followed after Raven.

Bewildered, Robin looked up at his old friend Cyborg. "Cy...what...what happened? What did I say?"

"Rob..." he looked down at the ground. 'How do I tell him?' he thought. "Rob...you never married Star. In fact, the two of you barely lasted over a year. For the past two years...you've been married to Raven."

* * *

(Authors' Notes: In case you were wondering, the reason no one is freaking out about the doctor knowing Robin's real name is that Dr. Pieter Cross is the secret identity of a fellow DC super hero. If you don't already know which one, don't worry about it, all is revealed in chapter six.)


	2. Who am I?

Chapter Two: Who Am I?

Robin stared at Cyborg in silent shock, as his friend's words echoed in his head, over and over again.

"Rob...you never married Star. In fact, the two of you barely lasted over a year. For the past two years...you've been married to Raven."

'For the past two years...you've been married to Raven. Married to Raven. Raven...'

Meanwhile, in the hallway outside of Robin's hospital room, Starfire had managed to catch up with her heartbroken friend.

"...Raven?"

Sniffling, Raven turned to look the Tamaran in the eye. "This...this isn't fair. Why, Star? Why did this happen? Why can't he remember me?!"

Slowly, Raven felt the tears that had cascaded from her eyes being wiped away by Stafire's thumb. She looked up, hoping to see Star's trademark smile; wishing that maybe, just maybe it would make her feel a bit better. The look on Starfire's face however, was solemn, and it only made Raven feel worse.

Silently, Raven cursed the fates and their abhorrent cruelty. Three days ago, Robin suffered a horrible accident while riding his motorcycle. He was such a skilled rider, that the thought of him getting into an accident barely scratched the surface of Raven's worry-pool. Not a firm believer in irony, Raven asked Cyborg to inspect the vehicle for sabotage. Sure enough, one of Gizmo's devices was located near the rear wheel axel and the rest of the Titans had left to find him and bring him down. But Raven stayed with her husband, she barely left his side for three days straight, until finally, on that third night, he awoke.

As Raven sat next to Robin's hospital bed for three days, many thoughts ran through her head. She imagined different scenarios taking place, each one seeming more probable than the last. Her pessimistic attitude showing, Raven's first thoughts were that Robin may never awaken from his slumber. 'What if he stays in a coma forever?' But as the minutes turned to hours, and the hours to a day, worry was soon replaced by the emotion that was strongest in Raven's heart. Love. As Robin lay in bed, Raven would rest her head on his chest, and softly talk to him. She would tell him how much she loved him. She told him how much she couldn't wait for him to wake up. How she wanted him to take her in his arms as soon as he awoke. By the third night, she started to worry again, but only slightly. As she was slowly drifting off to sleep, he suddenly bolted up, and shouted out of confusion. In that initial moment of shock, Raven believed all her prayers had been answered. Then, slowly, like the way it only happens in a bad soap opera, Raven realized that the man who awoke in that hospital bed was not her husband, but the boy he used to be so many years ago. All the time they spent together, every look, every smile, every kiss, every touch, and word of love the couple ever shared, all lost. As if they never happened...to Robin, at least. They very much happened to Raven, and as she took in a deep breath, in that sterile, somber hospital hall, she vowed to never give up. She would not give in to despair. She loved Robin more than anything in the world or out of it, and she had enough trust in their love to know that if she tried hard enough...she could bring him back.

As Cyborg wheeled Robin out of his recovery room in a wheel-chair, the rest of the Titans converged to escort them out. Raven asserted herself to Robin's side, and with a series of small, but warm smiles, she tried to do her best to comfort him. As they were leaving through the waiting room, a newspaper caught Robin's eye. The headline read:

_**WHERE IS BATMAN? : Costumed vigilante missing for days, crime slowly rising.**_

'Hmm.' Robin thought, as he read the headline. 'I'll have to remember to ask someone about that, or maybe I'll just call Bruce, and see if he's alright.'

The ride back to Titan's Tower was about as much as everyone expected. Robin was full of questions, but he was obviously avoiding the important ones.

"So, Speedy, it's great to see you again. When did you join the Titans?"

Roy Harper grinned. "Ah, well, I guess it was about five or six years ago. Titans East disbanded, and I went through a bunch of odd jobs before finally swallowing my pride and marching my ass back to the Titans. I figured you four could use the extra help."

Robin did the math in his head, and looked around the car. Cyborg. Starfire. Raven. Myself. Four. "What about Gar? Where's Beast Boy?"

A slow and eerie silence filled the car, as one by one, each Titan turned to face Robin. "Rich..." Cyborg said, "Beast Boy...died a couple of years ago."

Robin was taken aback by the pain of Cyborg's words so badly that he barely noticed the tears in his eyes. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Robin managed to rasp out the words "How...how did it happen?"

After a deep breath, Cyborg replied. "We...don't know. He just left one day, and never came back. His body was found a week later." The others nodded, but Robin wasn't fooled. He had been trained by one of the world's greatest detectives, he could tell a lie when he heard one. His friends were hiding something from him, and he wanted to know what. 'But...' he thought, 'it can wait.' He had so many other questions he needed to ask, he figured he would just save that one as well. The rest of the car ride after that was spent in an awkward and painful silence.

After entering the tower, Raven had taken wheel-chair duty away from Cyborg and was now carting Robin off to his room. She was being as compassionate and caring as she could, however Robin was still acting indifferent towards her. It wasn't that he was trying to hurt her in any way; it's just that, although he didn't look like it, he was just a kid, a 16 year old boy who didn't know how to react to his current predicament.

"Uh, Raven, where are you taking me? My room is THAT way." Robin said, as he craned his neck to look in the opposite direction.

Raven smiled. "Not anymore, Rich. You moved out of your old room and turned it into your own personal little dojo. I moved out of mine too, it's a meditation room now." As they came to the last door in the hall, Raven stopped and opened it. "This is where we live now."

The room was big, and beautiful. It was large and roomy, with a queen-sized bed in the center of it. Decorating the room was a blend of personality. Raven and Robin's personalities, yet, they seemed to match in such a way that the room could have easily been designed by a single person rather than two.

Slowly, Robin stood up from his wheel chair, and began to walk around the room to inspect it.

Raven watched him in uncomfortable silence, until finally she spoke. "Um...so Cyborg has been insisting that you sleep here...ah...with me." Blushing a bit, she continued. "But you know Cyborg, he's not always really aware of the...sensitivity of people's feelings...you know? I don't care how much it might help bring your memory back, Rich. I would never ask you to do that...especially under these...circumstances. I'll sleep on the couch in the living room until your amnesia is gone."

Robin looked at the floor. "_Under these circumstances_. You mean Starfire."

Raven turned away. "...yes."

Robin sighed. "Look Raven, it's pretty obvious to me what's happened here. Me and Star obviously weren't meant to be, and she's made it pretty clear that she no longer has those kinds of feelings for me. But besides all that, there's no way I'm going to let you sleep out on the sofa while I sleep here in your..._our_ bed."

Raven shook her head. "Sorry Robin, but that doesn't work. Dr. Cross made it perfectly clear that in order for your memory to come back, you need to spend as much time possible in your bedroom. You need to be surrounded by well...yourself, and everything that makes up your life, and trust me Robin," she paused to look around their room, "you won't be finding that in the living room. You're staying here. I'll sleep on the couch."

Robin was quiet for a few minutes, until finally he said, with a soft voice, "It's a big bed. I don't mind sharing it if you don't."

Raven made no reply, but smiled warmly. Robin found himself smiling back, seeing any kind of emotion at all on Raven's face was something new to him, it was something he realized he could easily get used to...

With a sigh, he spoke again. "Look Raven...I have a lot of questions to ask you. About Star, about you, about us, about everything..."

Raven sat on the bed and looked him in the eyes. "Ask me anything Robin, I'll gladly answer as best I can. Ten years is a lot to talk about..."

"...yeah. But before we get into that, I need to make a phone call. I need to call Bruce and-"

Robin stopped talking when he saw the look on Raven's face. It was the same look she gave him in the car when he mentioned Beast Boy and their bedroom was now filled with that same awful silence. Even before Raven opened her mouth, Robin knew what words would come out.

"Rich...Bruce is dead."

Fists clenched, Robin felt more tears slowly run down his face. Wiping his eyes, he noticed a picture on the nightstand by the bed. It was a picture of Bruce in formal wear with the words "_He lives on in you" _written on the bottom with a pen. Robin recognized the handwriting immediately as his butler Alfred, apparently, the only family he had left.

"You know..." Robin said suddenly, "it makes a lot of sense." As he spoke, he read Alfred's words over and over. _He lives on in you._ "Ever since I found out what was going on, I had been wondering, why everyone was calling me 'Robin'. I thought maybe I had become Nightwing, like in that possible future Starfire went to. But now I understand, the reason I didn't. I kept the name 'Robin' in honor of Bruce, to help uphold his legacy."

Raven gave Robin and unbelieving smile. "Well 'boy wonder', you got that _half_ right."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "_Half?_"

Raven nodded. "It's true you never became Nightwing, but the only reason we've been calling you 'Robin' is because Dr. Cross asked us to. He didn't want to confuse you, so he asked that we all address you the same way we did ten years ago. Of course...I never stopped calling you Robin. In fact, I'm the only one who still does. It's kind of become my...pet name...for you." Raven blushed as she looked down to her feet.

"But...if I'm not Robin...and I'm not Nightwing...who _am_ I?"

Without saying a word, Raven turned her gaze to their closet. Taking the hint, Robin slowly began to walk towards it, Raven flanking him. His hand shaking, he opened the door, and his eyes widened when he saw what was inside. If it had not been hanging directly in front of his eyes, Robin might have not believed it. The black cape, the cowl, it was all unmistakable. Robin's eyes wandered from the two pointed "ears" on the cowl, to the black symbol across the chest of the gray body suit. Although a simple design, it was bold and it was striking. It was the symbol of the bat.

As Robin stared at the costume in his closet, Raven slid up next to him, and taking his hand in hers, spoke softly. "You should have seen the look on my mother's face when I told her I was marrying Batman."

Giving her hand a small squeeze, Robin turned to look Raven in the eyes. "Raven...please...tell me how my father died."

* * *

(Authors' Notes: I know, Batman isn't Robin's biological father, and he may not have been the greatest father figure in the world, but on an unspoken level, Robin always had a great deal of love for Bruce, and that's where that came from.)


	3. Death In The Family

Chapter Three: Death In The Family

"Raven...please...tell me how my father died."

With a heavy heart, Raven led Robin back to their bed and sat him down. After a deep breath, she brushed a tear away from his face and spoke. "He was killed about five years ago."

"Five years? But the newspaper I saw in the hospital...it said he had only been missing a few days...oh." Suddenly, it dawned on him. "They were talking about me, weren't they? _I_ was in the hospital for a 'few days'."

Raven nodded as Robin looked back at the costume in the closet.

"It was the Joker, wasn't it?"

"No, Rich, it wasn't."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "No? Then, Bane?"

"No."

"Hush?"

"No."

"Two-Face?"

"No."

"_Clay_-Face?"

"No."

"Freeze? Scarecrow? The Riddler? Penguin? Scarface?"

"No, Robin. None of them. It...it wasn't one of _Bruce's_ enemies."

"Then it must have been one of Selina's. Zeiss? The Black Mask? Or was it during a League mission? Despero? Amazo? The Key?" Robin was getting frantic, and all it did was make Raven feel worse about telling him.

"No, Rich. It wasn't any of them, and if you think about it hard enough, I think you'll find you already know who it was." As her somber tone faded into silence, Robin sat there, the gears in his head turning. Then, as a chill ran up his spine, he knew who killed his mentor.

"_No_..." Sweat began forming on his forehead as Raven could see his body tense up. "No...it...it couldn't be. He...he died! We all saw it!"

"You're right," she said, "we _did_ see him die. But he came _back_, Robin. Slade came back and he murdered Bruce. He was jealous of him, Rich. For as much as you obsessed over Slade, he must have obsessed double over you. He _wanted_ you, Robin. In some sick, twisted way, he wanted to be your_ father_. So when it became obvious to him that he couldn't...he killed the man who really was."

Robin sat there, on the edge of the bed, in complete silence. Tears ran down his face and he tightened his grip on the bed sheets, but he said nothing. It killed Raven to see Robin in such pain, because no matter what he may or may not remember, he was still her husband, and she loved him more than life itself. She moved closer to him, and then cautiously, rested her head on his shoulder. Raven wrapped her arms around her love and held him tight. She could feel his body shudder with each breath.

"I just...can't believe Slade beat him. I mean, Slade was good...but Bruce...Bruce was the _best_. And not just the best fighter, he was smart, sometimes a bit too smart." Robin found himself smiling sadly. "And paranoid too. He always took every precaution, even ones no one else would ever think of. I just can't see how Slade could have beaten him."

Raven moved her head on Robin's shoulder so that she was more or less facing him. "In a fair fight, Robin, I don't think Slade would have lasted a minute against Bruce. But then...when has anything ever been _fair_ with Slade? Before making his move, Slade stalked Alfred for what must have been weeks. Until he knew Alfred's schedule like clockwork, then, he abducted him and left a note for Bruce. None of us are really sure why Bruce didn't call us when he found the note. I guess he didn't want to worry you, and figured he could take Slade on his own. Either way, Cyborg still found out about it, and we were able to track them down. We were just...too late. When we got there, Slade was just about to off Alfred, and we managed to save him. But...Bruce was already dead. God, Richard, he was lying on the ground naked, in a pool of his own blood. Alfred told us that before shooting him, Slade made Bruce take off every piece of armor and clothing, just to be sure he wasn't hiding any weapons. He persuaded Bruce to do so, by holding Alfred at gunpoint. Then...he shot him."

The pain Robin felt in his heart was unbearable. The relationship between Bruce and Alfred had always been so professional. Everyone knew Bruce respected Alfred, but he didn't treat him like a friend so he could avoid emotional attachment. But Robin had always known the truth, Alfred had practically raised Bruce, and it was no surprise to him that Bruce had given his life to save Alfred's. Guilt stung Robin's heart as much as sorrow did, Bruce and Alfred were all the family Robin had left, and the only reason they were put into that danger, was because of him. Slade wanted Robin, and went through Bruce and Alfred to get to him.

"I'll kill him..." he whispered suddenly.

"What?" Raven asked.

"Slade. I'll kill him for this." Robin's words were cold and harsh. They stabbed at Raven's heart.

She looked away from Robin as she closed her eyes. Biting her lip, she said in a soft, quiet voice, "You already did."

"...What?"

**FLASHBACK**

"SLADE!!"

The masked villain broke into a sprint as Starfire and Raven tended to Alfred. Tears filling his eyes, Robin crouched down next to his foster-father's motionless body.

"I'm so sorry...dad."

'Whoa...' thought Speedy, 'Bruce Wayne is Batman? Man... Makes sense I guess. God, poor Robin."

Clenching his fists, Robin slowly stood up and walked over to Bruce's discarded gear. "Slade may have killed Bruce Wayne..." Robin removed his cape and replaced it with Bruce's. Then he peeled off his mask, revealing for just a moment his pain-filled eyes. Quickly, he pulled Bruce's cowl over his head and adjusted it appropriately. "But I'll make sure _Batman_ doesn't die tonight." Robin turned to face the Titans. "I want the five of you to take care of Alfred. _Don't _let anything happen to him."

"Dude..." Beast boy pleaded, but it was to no avail.

"Take care of Alfred, Gar. Slade is _mine_." After growling his last word, Robin took off into the night.

It was two days later, and a fierce thunder storm was rolling in over the bay. The rain hadn't started to fall yet, so Raven went up to the roof to get a first hand view of nature's power. 'Beautiful...' she thought as she watched the lightning dance over head. Then, as the lightning and thunder crashed, a dark figure appeared behind her. Gasping, Raven turned to see Batman standing there, the scent of murder hanging in the air around him. "B...Bruce?"

"No, Rave. It's me." As he spoke, Robin slowly lifted the Batman mask from his face. As Raven stared at him, he threw a piece of thin scrap metal on the ground. It clanked as it bounced and skidded over to Raven's feet. Her eyes widened when she gave it a better look. It was cracked, it was chipped, and it was battered, but it was Slade's mask, there was no doubt about it.

"He'll never hurt anyone ever again." Robin said, his words were grim, and coated in guilt and pain.

Slowly, almost as if she were afraid of him, Raven walked towards her boyfriend. Collapsing into his body, she wrapped her arms around him and held him as tight as she could. Crying into his chest, she whispered, "...What have you done, Richard? What have you done...?"

**End Flashback**

As Raven finished speaking, Robin tried to say something, but choked on his words. "I...I'm a _murderer_." He said finally. The very word tasted like poison on his tongue, as everything Robin used to think about himself began to fall down around him.

Raven said nothing, but closed her eyes and held him tighter.

A horrified look fell over Robin's face, and then, he began to cry. There was no lone tear falling from his eyes this time. Robin was crying and he couldn't control it. After pulling himself together, he looked at Raven with his bloodshot eyes and said, "That's why Cyborg lied to me, isn't it?"

"Wh...what?"

"In the car. When I asked Cyborg about how Beast Boy died. He lied to me, and now I know why..."

Raven was speechless but Robin could see the guilt wash over her face. That was all he needed to know.

Robin took a deep breath in as more tears fell from his eyes. "It was me...wasn't it?"

"Robin..."

"No, Raven. Tell me the truth. I _killed_ Beast Boy, didn't I? DIDN'T I?!?" He was shouting now, but it was more out of pain than it was anger.

"You have to understand Rich...it wasn't your fault."

"It doesn't MATTER if it was my fault or not, Rae! I KILLED Beast Boy! I killed...my friend..."

"Please Robin...listen to me...it's not your fault. He left you no choice..."

"How...how did it happen?"

"I guess it all started about three years ago. Beast Boy was having a harder and harder time trying to control his savage, more animalistic side. Then...one day, he was just gone. He left most of his belongings, and didn't tell anyone where he was going or why. After a few months, we began to think he'd never come back. Then...a little over a year after he left, he returned. God...it was a day I'll never forget..."

**FLASHBACK**

It was a beautiful, sunny day. On most days like this, Raven Roth would normally rather be spending her time indoors, reading a good book, or maybe meditating. But this day was different. This day was special. The Titans and their friends and families gathered on the rooftop of Titans tower, as the visitors and residents alike admired the decorations. Benches were brought in, and were separated into two halves, and then each half divided into ten rows. Alfred was there. So were Cyborg's parents. Speedy's guardian Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow showed up too. All of the Titan's friends, past and present were there as well. Aqualad, Wildebeest, Bumblebee, Thunder, Lighting, Mas, Menos, Hotspot. They were all there. The Justice League showed up as well. Even Raven's mother, Arella was there. This was indeed a special day, for this was the day that Raven Roth and Richard Grayson were to be married.

Cyborg looked around him. 'It really is a beautiful day. I'm glad. Those two deserve it.' As he let his eye wander, Cyborg noticed a large bird circling high over head. Identifying it as a vulture, he shrugged. 'That's weird,' he thought, 'we don't usually get vultures this close to the bay.' The vulture was quickly blocked from his mind as a far more important bird began to walk down the aisle.

As the wedding march played, and Raven began to walk down the aisle, Robin found himself thinking. 'Jeez...this is what it must have felt like for that guy in 'Alien', because I swear, I feel like something's gonna burst out of my body right now...' To say that he had 'butterflies in his stomach' would be the understatement of the century. As Raven moved closer to the altar, Robin felt the sweat forming on his brow. 'God...look at her. She's so beautiful. In a few moments...my life is going to be perfect.'

Raven was quite the site to behold. In her flowing white wedding dress, she looked like an angel floating through a sea of flower petals. As hard as it was to take his eye off her, Cyborg found himself looking back up to the sky every now and again. Something about that bird nagged at him. And every time he looked at it, it seemed to be closer than the last. Then, as the music swelled, and Raven finally took that step up onto the altar, Cyborg watched as the bird began to fall, first slowly, then faster and faster as Cyborg realized it wasn't falling it all. It was diving.

"YO, RAVEN! LOOK OUT!"

Raven jumped back just in time, as the vulture, now a tiger, crashed into the altar and landed on all fours. Panic broke out as the civilians tried to run back downstairs while the super heroes readied themselves for an attack.

As if on the prowl, the tiger began to slowly move towards Raven, when suddenly, Robin threw himself between them. Bo-staff at the ready, he stared the creature down and with a venomous tone, said, "Come near her, and I'll make you into a _throw-rug_."

The tiger pounced at Robin, but in mid air, transformed into a man. He was large, and his hair was shaggy and mane-like. Fangs jutted out from his mouth, and his fingers ended in long, sharp claws. As he landed, with reflexes too quick for even Robin to keep track of, the man had Robin's throat in his clawed hand within moments. As he tightened his grip, Robin choked out a single word.

"G..._Gar_?!"

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed as a deep, low rumbling started in his throat. "_You_!" he growled. "Everything that ever went wrong in my life, every love I ever lost...it was all YOUR fault! YOU drove Terra away! It was YOU!" Beast Boy tightened his grip on Robin's neck again. "Then...when she came back, I thought everything had worked out. But it was all a LIE! She betrayed us, because she was working for Slade, and she was working for Slade, because YOU drove her AWAY!!" As Beast Boy bellowed, the rest of the heroes attempted to attack. But every time one of them did, Beast Boy would sense it coming, and further tighten his grip on his former teammate's throat. That was enough to keep the heroes at bay. "But Terra wasn't the _only_ girl I ever loved..." he rambled on. As Robin struggled for air, he looked into Beast Boy's eyes, hoping to find at least a shred of his fun-loving, joke-cracking friend. But as he looked into his eyes, Robin saw only madness. Foam started to form at Beast Boy's mouth as he continued to talk. "No...she wasn't the only one. There was another..." he turned to look at Raven. "But you took HER from me too!" Beast Boy suddenly released Robin's throat and threw him to the side. In one swift, fluid motion, Beast Boy had replaced Robin's neck in his hand with Raven's. "I'll show you, Robin! I WILL be happy, and Raven WILL love me!"

Anger taking him over, Robin threw everything he had at Beast Boy. His attacks were so erratic, as he moved randomly around the roof that the rest of the heroes dared not interfere for fear of getting in his way, or worse, him getting in theirs. He gave his attacker everything he had, but nothing seemed to be enough. He tried ice-grenades, but Beast Boy broke free of them. He tried tranquilizers, but Beast Boy's savage rage and animal fury made him so powerful that Robin's tranqs couldn't hope to sedate him. Robin knew he had only one option left. "Gar...please..._don't_ make me do this." He pleaded with him, but it was no use. Beast Boy had gone insane, and now he was going to kill Raven. He was going to kill the love of Robin's life. He was going to kill the woman Robin was _marrying_. "Gar..." Robin whispered as tears stung his eyes. "I'm sorry..."

It was a dark, dark day. The union of the two young heroes was supposed to be a happy and momentous occasion. The day should have been filled with tears of joy and praises and cheers. Instead, it was filled with tears of sorrow, and curses, and pain. From the Titans, to the League, and the heroes in between, for all the power they possessed, they still weren't able to prevent the death of one of their own...

**End Flashback**

"Robin...if...if you hadn't had done what you did...I would have been killed too."

Robin was lying down now, his head resting in Raven's lap as she gently stroked his hair. "That doesn't make me feel any less guilty about killing my friend, Raven"

"No," she said softly, "I guess it wouldn't."

"Did anyone ever find out why he attacked us? Why he...went crazy?"

Raven wiped a tear from her eye. "Apparently, he left the team because he felt his primal, animalistic side taking him over, and he didn't want any of us to get hurt. So he lived in the wild for about a year. But...the coroner told us that Beast Boy's body tested positive for rabies. He must have caught it while living out there, and because of the animal DNA in him...it affected him the way it did. No matter how he died, Robin, Beast Boy was _not_ evil. He was a hero. He even left the team for _our_ safety, not his. I...we _all_ miss him. So much. I visit him whenever I get the chance to..."

Robin looked up at her. "You do? I mean...can you tell me? Where he's buried?"

Raven got up and walked over to the window. She pulled back the curtains and pointed to the darkness below. Robin walked over, and even though it was late at night, and dark, the tower's lights were bright enough for him to see the memorial. "I'm going down there." He said.

"Robin, no. It's late. It can wait until morning."

"No," he said sharply, "it can't."

Raven looked down, but then slowly nodded her approval.

Robin rested a hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you get some sleep, alright? I'll see you in the morning." As he began to walk out the door, he stopped and turned his head to look over his shoulder. "Hey, Raven?"

"Yeah?"

"...Thank you."

Robin shivered in the cold night's air as he stood in front of Beast Boy's grave. He stood there in silence for what must have been close to half an hour before finally saying, "Gar...I'm so sorry." After a few minutes of silent crying, Robin took a deep breath in, and looked up to the stars. Somehow, staring into that vast sea of black and white made Robin feel better. He knew his friend was up there in the heavens, smiling down at him and if he could say something, it would probably be along the lines of:

'Dude, why are you kicking yourself in the ass over this? It's no biggie, besides, do you _realize_ how many hot angel chicks there are up here? _DUDE!_ Seriously Rob, I'm in a better place now. But don't worry, you'll see me again. You'll be up here eventually. Just try and take your time, alright? I've got a lot of girlies up here who can't refuse the Beast-Boy charm, and I'm not ready to share yet.'

"I'm gonna miss you, bud." Robin said as he took one last look at the stars. Then, before returning to his room, he found a small, sad smile creeping up his face as he said, "And for the record...tofu really isn't that bad after all, B."

It was a few hours later, and Robin was lying awake in bed. Although he felt as if he had made his peace with Beast Boy that didn't change the fact that he was still, at the end of the day, heart-broken. Robin hated this future that he had woken up in. He was haunted by so many ghosts here. Bruce, Gar, and even his relationship with Starfire. All of them, gone and never to return. 'Do I even have anything worth living for, here?' he asked himself. Then, as if answering his own question, Robin turned to look at the person sleeping next to him. As he watched the violet-haired vixen sleep, Robin realized how confused she made him feel. The Raven sleeping next to him was nothing like the Raven he knew. The Raven he knew was reclusive, and sarcastic. She was a kind and caring person, for that there was no doubt, but she was always so subtle with it. She was Robin's friend, and he trusted her with his life, but he had never thought of her as anything more than a friend and teammate. Because, with a girlfriend like Starfire, why would he need to? But this Raven...the Raven he married, she was so...different. He spent the entire night talking to her, and the things he had her tell him, if she hadn't had been so comforting, Robin wasn't sure how he would have reacted. There was something...special about this Raven, something Robin couldn't quite put his finger on. Then, as if some strange force had taken control of his body, Robin found himself leaning in towards Raven. Before he could realize what he was doing, he had kissed her gently on the forehead. As he stared in shock, a small smile slowly crept it's way up Raven's slumbering face. Staring at her, Robin felt a smile on his lips as well. He laid back, and taking one last look at the girl who had given so much of herself to him, Robin fell asleep, dreams of Raven, his wife, dancing in his head.

"Morning, Sleepy-head."

"Hnh. Wha?" Robin slowly wiped the sleep from his eyes as he sat up in bed. Raven was standing next to the bed, her hands on her hips, with a tray of food floating next to her. "Nnh." Robin groaned. "What time is it?"

"It's 12:30, Rich. You sure as hell slept in today. What time did you come to bed anyway?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "Late."

Raven sighed. "Well look, I'm going to go meditate for a few hours. When I'm done, we can talk some more, if you want."

Robin nodded.

"But here, before I go, I made you lunch." Raven smiled as she used her powers to float over the tray containing a patty-melt sandwich, hash browns, and a glass of root beer to Robin.

Robin stared in amazement at the meal in front of him. "This..."

"is your favorite." Raven said with a smile. "I know. Look, while I'm meditating, why don't you go hang out with the guys or something. They're a bit nervous about having to tell you about the things that have gone on, but I know they'd like to just spend some time with you, Rob."

Robin smiled. "Yeah, that sounds nice. See you when you get back?"

Raven gave him a sexy grin, "You bet your ass you will."

After Raven left, Robin took a bite of his sandwich. A part of him wanted to go and hang out with the others, but the more he thought about Raven, the more that part seemed to get drowned out. He looked down at the lunch Raven had made for him, his favorite meal. 'She knows so much about me,' he thought, 'and yet I know next to nothing about her.' Robin looked around the room at all of the belongings. 'But maybe, today, I can change that.'

Once he finished his lunch, Robin got out of bed and walked over to the large rack of cds next to the stereo. He started thumbing through a few of the titles. 'Led Zeppelin', 'Social Distortion', 'The Rolling Stones', 'The Clash'. Robin shook his head, 'No,' he thought, 'these must be _my_ cds.' He looked further down the rack. 'The Cure' 'Ah, now here we go. Lets see what we have here. 'Bauhaus', 'The Joy Division', 'Siouxsie and the Banshees', 'Him'. Robin smiled. 'Typical goth-rock. I guess I'm not really sure what I expected to find just by looking through her music. Maybe...her books?'

Robin walked over to the large bookshelf in the corner. After shifting through the expected literature classics, he came across a collection of books with no words printed anywhere on the covers. On each spine, there were numbers written on them. '04-05', '06-08', '09-12'. Robin realized these numbers were years. 'What are these, year books?' Robin picked up the '06-08' book, and opened it to the first page.

_**Raven's Diary**_

_**2006 – 2008**_

Robin's eyes widened as he realized exactly what it was that he held in his hands. These books were the answer to all his questions. Slowly, his eyes drifted over to the book labeled '04-05'. 'Oh my god. This...this is the year I was in when I went to sleep, before I woke up yesterday. And the year after. They said Star and I only lasted for about a year, well, if Raven wrote anything about that, then it would be in this book. But should I actually read it? I mean, this is really personal stuff. Plus, Raven already promised to tell me everything I wanted to know herself.'

Despite his own logic, Robin found his quivering hands slowly opening the book's cover. Then, with a deep breath in, Robin began to read.

* * *

(Authors' Notes: "Then it must have been one of Selina's. Zeiss? The Black Mask?" When Robin says 'Selina' he means Catwoman, Selina Kyle.)


	4. Off the Horse, In a Book, Off Her Feet

WARNING: This chapter contains a scene with minor drug use. This fic isn't rated PG-13 just for the language and themes, kiddies.

I still don't own these characters, that hasn't changed. Thanks again for reading and reviewing guys, it really means a lot to me.

* * *

Chapter Four: Off the Horse, In a Book, Off Her Feet

"Azarath, Metreon, Zinthos...Azarath, Metreon, Zinthos..." For the past couple of hours, Raven had been meditating in her old bedroom, just like she told Robin she would. What she didn't tell him was that this was the first time in years that she's needed to. As she matured, Raven slowly gained full control over her powers, and needed to meditate less and less. Then, when she was finally able to break away from her father Trigon, Raven was free to use her emotions as she wished, she was free to feel.

However, whenever something was truly troubling her, whenever she was under a large amount of stress, her powers threatened to act up again, and Raven needed to meditate to get them back under control. But, for the last six years, Raven had hardly needed to do so, for she had something better, something that kept the troubles and stress away in the first place. She had Robin.

But now...now she wasn't so sure. The previous night had proven to be one of Raven's most difficult, as she spent it digging up painful memories in hopes that maybe they would trigger the rest of Robin's memories. Unfortunately, they had not. Besides having to relive painful past experiences Raven also had to fall asleep alone. Every night since moving in together, Raven had fallen asleep in the arms of her lover, Robin. Even on nights that he, for one reason or another refused to go to bed when she did, Raven would wait up for him, so she could have him next to her when she fell asleep. It was the first night she spent on the opposite side of the bed from Robin, and Raven hated it.

Although she would never tell him, and although she would not allow herself to show it, Raven was in pain. She missed Robin. _Her _Robin. She missed the man she married, and the man who, over the years, had grown to be more than her lover, but also her best friend.

Raven sighed. Over two hours of peaceful tranquility and still she barely felt better. It's one thing to lose the person you love, it's even worse to still have that person, but to have lost their love. Sighing, Raven lowered herself to the floor, stood up, and headed to the door. Meditating hadn't accomplished much, but it did about as much as she expected it to. 'Maybe a nice cup of tea will help put me at ease.' She thought. 'And at the same time, I can see how Robin and the others are doing.'

As she entered the kitchen, Raven was greeted by the Titan's resident archer. Or rather, by the lower half of his body that was sticking out from behind the refrigerator's open door. Raven turned her nose in disgust as a stream of smoke came billowing up from behind the door as well, as an all too familiar smell intruded the otherwise clean-smelling kitchen.

"Roy, _what_ are you doing?" Raven asked in an annoyed tone.

Closing the door to the fridge, Speedy gave Raven a sheepish grin as he held up a large, sloppily-constructed sandwich. "Just making myself a snack, Pretty-Bird, what does it _look_ like I'm doing?"

Raven glared at him. "It _looks_ like you're smoking again, Roy. How do you expect any of us to take your little 'war on drugs' seriously when you walk around the tower smoking pot all day?"

Speedy sighed. "Rae, for the hundredth time, it's not a '_war on drugs'_. It's just...there's a lot of bad people out there, you know? They prey on innocent kids, and they use drugs to make a quick buck off of them. They don't care who you are as long as you got money, you're fair game. They'll lie to you, and they'll trick you, but either way, you end up hooked, and they end up rich. So now I'm just trying to do my part to take these assholes down before they can get to anyone else...like they got to me."

Raven sighed, the night before, on that long car ride home from the hospital, she had been relieved that Robin never asked why the Titans East disbanded. Roy had mentioned it, but thankfully, Robin had just let it go. None of the Titans were exactly looking forward to telling him that the Titans East broke up when their leader got addicted to heroin. Raven remembered clearly Robin's reaction to it. He was furious, not only because Roy was his friend, and he trusted him, but because Robin and Speedy had always been so alike, that when Robin looked at Speedy, he saw himself. After the discovery had been made, and Roy went to rehab, the rest of the Titans East just weren't able to keep it up. Speedy had been their leader, their inspiration. To find out that he had succumbed to the same kind of garbage they were trying to get rid of, well, it was hard to take in, to say the least. Aqualad stopped speaking to him altogether, and after awhile, stopped keeping in touch with the rest of the Titans as well.

After successfully going through rehabilitation, and coming clean, Roy just didn't have the heart to go back to the Titans. He was ashamed of himself, and for awhile, disappeared off the map. He worked odd jobs for a while, Green Arrow being his only remaining connection to the super hero community. Then finally, one day, Speedy showed up on the doorstep of Titan's Tower, bow in hand. When Robin opened the door and first saw him, Raven wasn't sure if he was going to hug Roy, or punch him in the face. Thankfully, it turned out to be the former. For awhile, everything seemed to be fine, and Roy had seemingly returned to his old self. But then, a few years ago, the Titans started getting whiffs of a strange smell here and there in the tower, or small wisps of smoke outside a window. No one had said anything, because drugs or not, Roy was their friend, and so what if he was smoking weed now and again, at least he wasn't shooting up anymore. At least, that's how Raven felt until now. This was different. This time, he was standing in the middle of the kitchen with a god damn lit joint in his mouth.

Raven sighed. "You're _still_ a hypocrite. If you hate dealers so much, then why would you give them your money for some damn pot, Roy?!"

Speedy grinned. "Who says I _paid_ for this? These buds are _home-grown_, Pretty-Bird."

Raven stared at her teammate. "They're WHAT? You mean you're growing them HERE?! _ROY_!!"

Speedy said nothing, but gave Raven an apologetic shrug. Apparently, this was not enough.

"I can't BELIEVE you, Roy! We're super heroes for goodness sake, we DON'T grow DRUGS!!"

Speedy let out a deep sigh, and for the first time since Raven walked into the kitchen, dropped his cheerful disposition. "Look Rae, if you promise to keep it to yourself, I'll tell you the truth." A look of sadness washing over his face, Speedy slowly lifted both of his arms up, until they were sticking out straight in front of him.

At first, Raven was puzzled by this gesture, but as she looked again, she realized what he was trying to show her. At first glance, it wasn't quite the kind of thing you'd notice, but upon further inspection, Raven saw that both of his arms were trembling, even ever so slightly.

Speedy looked from his quivering arms up to Raven's face. "I thought once I kicked 'the horse' I'd be fine, but even after the rehab, Rae, the shakes never really went away. They aren't as bad as they used to be...but..." The pain on Roy's face was clear as he choked out his next words. "...but...I can't shoot straight anymore. You know, I'm not like you and the others, Rae I don't have any super powers. I've got a bow and some arrows, and I'm good with them. That's it. Or at least...I'm good with them when I can keep my arms steady." He held up his joint with a look of disgust on his face. "You think I _like_ this? You think I like having to resort to _drugs_ to keep me in the game? It kills me, Rae, but it's the only thing that calms my nerves enough without hindering any of the rest of me. I've tried booze, but the fact of the matter is, I can't shoot drunk, let alone fight. Look Rae, I haven't told the others because...well, I don't want them to think that I can't pull my own weight you know? I'm just afraid that if they find out about my problem...they'll think I'm not cut out to stay on the team."

"Roy, you know none of us would ever think that, you're our friend, and you've proven yourself time and time again." Raven gave Speedy a small smirk. "Besides, the only reason I can think of anyone wanting you out of here is because your stupid munchie-attacks are eating us out of house and home. Seriously Roy, that sandwich must weigh at _least_ a pound."

Speedy barked out a laugh, "Hah. You got me there, Pretty-Bird. By the way, how's Bats doing? Any more of his memory return since last night?"

"Roy, for the thousandth time, _don't_ call me 'Pretty-Bird'."

Raven's icy tone made Roy snap to attention, as he stiffened his body and brought his hand up in mock-salute. "Yes ma'am!"

Raven frowned. "Wait...you mean...he's not out here?"

Speedy blinked at the sudden change of subject. "Who, Bats? Nope, sorry. Haven't seen him since we brought him home from the hospital last night, and I've been out here all morning."

"That's weird." Raven said. "When he woke up, I told him he should come out here and hang out with you guys, and he sounded like he thought it was a good idea."

Roy shrugged.

Raven furrowed her brow as she looked down the hallway. "Well...if Robin's not out here...then where is he and what is he doing?"

* * *

_**Raven's Diary, April 15, 2004**_

_Dear Diary,_

_Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? These feelings are still so new to me, there's so little I know for sure. I think I may be in love with Robin, and god I hate him for it. This 'love' is making my life impossible. He talked to me today. And not just a 'Hi Raven, how are things?' kind of talk, but this was serious. I guess the job's had Robin real wound-up lately, and he needed someone to talk to, just let off a bit of steam I guess. But why, out of all the people in this god-forsaken abomination of a building did he have to pick **me**? _

_Why not his best friend Cyborg? Or his party-buddy Beast Boy? Or even Starfire, the love interest? I've never been anything to Robin, maybe a casual friend at the most. It's always made admiring him from a far much easier, at least. _

_I must have done something dreadful, something to really invoke the wrath of the Fates. How else could anyone explain me having to sit with Robin for 10 minutes of excruciating, euphoric pain. The whole time he was talking, I was barely paying attention to his words. All I could do was stare at his lips as they moved with each word. I stared at them and imagined those same lips pressed against mine. I don't even know what a kiss feels like, and yet all I could think about was what it would be like to kiss Robin. _

Robin gulped as he read the words in Raven's diary. Sure, he felt guilty about invading Raven's privacy like that, but Robin was too enthralled by the discovery of the 'Rosetta Stone' of Raven's feelings to stop himself. The Raven that Robin remembered was a girl of few words, but that didn't mean she was a girl of few thoughts. Quite the opposite, Robin was now reading the plethora of thoughts that swam around in Raven's head, but never left her lips.

Her lips. In the entry Robin was reading, Raven pondered Robin's lips and what it would feel like to kiss him. Now, ten years later, Robin found himself thinking about what it would be like to kiss Raven. As the thought sank deeper, Robin found a small smile working its way up his lips.

The smile, however, quickly faded away when Robin read the next entry.

_**Raven's Diary, May2, 2004**_

_THAT BITCH. BITCH, BITCH, BITCH. I'm not sure what makes me madder, the fact that it happened, or the fact that I was so surprised when it did. Dammit. Why didn't I see this coming? Maybe if I had seen some of the signs that Star and Robin were about to get together, then maybe I wouldn't be as hurt as I am now. But I didn't see any of it coming. I was too busy seeing only Robin. _

_God, I was such a fool. I've spent weeks drooling over him like a bitch in heat and all the time I was too blind to realize that he and Starfire were in the process of starting a relationship. Its times like these that make me hate myself. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I really am glad I am who I am, but there are other times, times like today, that make me wish I were different. Maybe if I weren't the way I am, I could have been more open to Robin, and maybe it would have been me to win his heart. Right. And then I woke up._

_**Raven's Diary, June 17, 2004**_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was...frustrating, to say the least. Cyborg and Beast Boy took Starfire down to the drag strip to watch some races. They thought it might be a fun new experience for her. Whoop-dee-doo. At least it got her out of the house. Star may be my best friend, but lately, it's become so hard to be around her. Every time she opens her mouth its 'Robin-this' or 'Robin-that'. I can barley take it anymore. Which was why I was so relieved to hear she would be gone all day. At first I didn't expect to spend any time with Robin, I was just glad to not have to deal with Star. That was until, he walked up to me in nothing but a pair of swim-shorts and a towel and said "Want to go swimming?"_

_Robin had never asked me to go swimming with him before, it was hard as hell to hide my smile from him when he asked. I ran to my room, and I don't know what came over me, but for some reason, girlfriend or no, I decided to wear a bikini for the first time, in hopes to maybe get some attention from the Boy Wonder. _

_It was a black bikini with dark purple trim that I picked it up about a year ago, but never had the guts to actually wear it. Luckily it still fit, but just barely. I blushed when I realized that I was practically popping out of the top, but there was no time to waste worrying about it. I know I should have felt guilty, and just a bit sluttish doing what I was, but I didn't have time to feel bad about it, I was late and needed to get my ass downstairs to the pool. _

_When I got there, Robin was already in the water, doing laps back and forth. Instead of getting in the water and joining him, I found a pool-chair to lie on and started to read the first page of my book, just to see if Robin would say anything to me. _

_After about the fourth chapter, I started to realize that Robin was far more interested in his aquatic workout than he was in the back-stabbing, bikini-wearing best friend of his new girlfriend. So instead of continuing to feign disinterest, I decided to use his lack of attention to my advantage and I just sat there for what seemed like forever watching Robin swim. He was so graceful, but at the same time strong. It was that combination of the two that made me find him so attractive. _

_As I watched Robin swim, I imagined myself in the water, with him. I would wait in the shallow end of the pool until during one of his laps, he stopped swimming as he noticed me standing there. Then he would walk over to me, as I gave him a sultry, mysterious look. That's how the fantasy started. It ended with my back up against the corner of the shallow end and his hot, wet body pressed up against mine. Delicious._

_Then, to my utter horror, I heard a distinct and far too chipper whistling coming down the hall, slowly getting louder and louder. Moments later, Starfire entered the pool area, in a sparkling lavender bikini and thong. I thought Robin's eyes were going to pop out of his head when he saw her. There are few things as humbling as being out-slutted by your own best friend. At this point, I gathered up my things, and left without so much as a word. _

_Today taught me something. Not only will Robin never notice me when the ever-beautiful Starfire is present, but even when she isn't, he still doesn't notice me. I guess this is some kind of sign huh? That I should just give up now. Give up my hopes, give up my dreams. Give up my love..._

The guilt in Robin's heart was so heavy, Robin felt it might cause his heart to sink right out of his chest. Robin didn't remember the event Raven had written about, but he wished desperately that he could go back in time and change it. 'I promise Raven, I'd notice you this time...'

Then, suddenly, Robin heard footsteps coming down the hallway, and in a frantic panic, managed to slam Raven's diary shut and put it back in it's rightful place on the shelf. Then, as the door was opening, Robin lunged for a random CD and threw it in the stereo. He was desperate for an alibi, and music seemed as good of one as any.

_**I stepped out on a celluloid night,**_

_**that flickered on a black and white reel.**_

_**Looking for something that I could not explain,**_

_**I could only feel.**_

"Rich?"

"Hey, Raven."

"What are you doing in here? Didn't you want to spend some time with the others? Roy said you haven't been out there all day."

_**These were the songs upheld by the shades**_

_**that spoke to me as I left town.**_

_**Israelites, The Harder They Come, 54-46**_

_**I hear them now.**_

_**And the words of the prophets never sounded as good**_

_**As the echo of a hard one drop**_

_**To forever be enslaved by the sound the creator made—**_

_**Don't let it stop.**_

Robin gave Raven a sad shrug. "I don't know. I wanted to hang out with them, but I don't know. There's still so much I want to know about myself before I feel like I'm ready to face the others.

_**Come again, Midnight Passenger**_

_**there to accompany down,**_

_**to the end of the soul's lost avenue**_

_**feel it now.**_

Raven smiled warmly. "So that's why you're sitting on the floor listening to your old cds?"

Robin rolled his eyes. "_Old_?! I don't even recognize this CD at all!"

_**I kept walking in the dust all night,**_

_**Looking for a diamond in the crush**_

_**Halfway under in bars like a ship that was sinking down—or coming up.**_

_**It was not the sun, that stung,**_

_**but the fear of loss and the voice of suffering and fate.**_

_**Till I just stopped listening to the chatter of all those yesterdays – crime pays.**_

_**We will show up with all our secret problems**_

_**and even if we can't find land,**_

_**there's a tone written into soul songs that understands**_

_**we will be free.**_

Raven crossed her arms over her chest and smirked at Robin. "Look Robin, forget the CDs, I know you said you don't feel like hanging out, but tough noogies, because you've got a visitor."

Robin raised an eyebrow, "A visitor?"

"That's right. So come on, off your butt Boy Blunder, Barbara's down in the main hall waiting for us."

_**Come again, Midnight Passenger**_

_**there to accompany down,**_

_**to the end of the soul's lost avenue**_

_**feel it now.**_

Robin's face lit up at the sound of his childhood friend's name. "BABS?! She's _here?_ That's great."

"Yeah, she called last night and Cyborg told her what was going on, so she drove out from Gotham to see how you're doing."

Robin smiled. 'Good ole' Babs.'

Raven walked over to him and tugged on his arm, as if sadly trying to lift him from the ground, and failing miserably. "Come _on_, Rob. She's already here and waiting for us down in the main hall."

"The _main hall_? Why doesn't she just meet us at the common room?"

"The elevators are broken, Rich."

"_SO?!_ I've seen Babs K.O. Harley Quinn with one kick before, I'm _sure_ she can handle a few stairs."

Raven winced. "Oh god. I'm so stupid. Robin, I'm sorry. But...I think you'd better just come with me downstairs. Nothing I can say could possibly help the situation, so you'd better just come and see for yourself."

Confused, Robin put up no more fight and followed Raven out of the room without a word. As he entered the main hall, Robin stopped in his tracks at the sight of Barbara Gordon. The heroine formerly known as Batgirl, Barbara was now roughly Robin's own age, 26, and had grown into a slender young, redheaded woman. She wore stylish glasses and a radiant smile, but none of it was able to take Robin's eyes away from the one thing catching his attention. The wheelchair she was sitting in.

"Babs...what...what happened to you?"

Barbara gave Robin a sad half-smile. "You really don't remember, huh Dick?" She sighed. "I was shot...at point blank...by the Joker." From the look on her face, you could tell it had been a long time since Barbara Gordon had talked about the incident. "I'm a paraplegic now."

Tears stinging his eyes, Robin couldn't even voice a response. He simply fought back the tears and pain, and turned down the hall and walked away, back towards his room. This was exactly why he didn't think he was ready to interact with his friends yet. Everything has changed so much, that Robin didn't really feel he was ready to handle it until he knew who he was. As he rounded the corner to the elevator, he noticed Raven chasing after him.

"Robin, wait! Are you ok? What's wrong?"

Robin sighed. "I'm just...not ready for this, Raven. Too much has changed in my life, I don't even know who I am yet. There's just...so much I need to know."

As they stepped into the elevator, Raven moved closer to Robin and looked him in the eye. "Then that's what _I'm_ here for, Rich."

Robin looked at the young woman standing in front of him. She was beautiful, in every aspect of the word. And here she was, willing to do anything she could to help him.

"Do you want me to tell you about Babs' attack?"

"No."

"Alright then." Raven paused. "Well...I know you were curious about it so...if you want, I could tell you about what happened to you and Star."

As he stared into her deep, violet eyes, Robin shook his head. "No, that's alright Raven. I don't really care about that anymore."

Raven looked up at him in surprise. "You...you _don't_?"

"No." Robin gently held Raven by her shoulders as he spun her around so that they were facing each other. "The only thing I care about right now, Raven...the only thing I want to know...is how _you_ and _I_ fell in love."

And with those words, he pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss.

* * *

(Authors' Notes: Although Speedy has his drug addiction like he did in the comics, you can be assured that I am using the cartoon version. I tried to write this story so to be a continuation of the cartoon, 10 years after the end of the second season. Whether or not it'll all add up is beyond me, but here's hoping, right?

The reason Speedy keeps calling Raven 'Pretty Bird' is a toss-back to Green Arrow, one of my favorite super heroes. GA's on-again-off-again girlfriend was the Black Canary, and his petname for her was always 'Pretty Bird'. Since Speedy was Green Arrow's sidekick, I thought I'd throw it in for fun.

The song is called 'Midnight Passenger' by Common Rider.)


	5. How We Fell In Love

Chapter Five: How We Fell In Love

Raven stared in silence as Robin's words echoed in her head. Slowly, she lifted her index finger up and rested it softly on her lips, where Robin's had just been. To Raven, it was their first kiss since Robin's accident, but to Robin it was their first kiss, period.

It seemed like an eternity before Raven could finally form a smile and muster up the word "Okay."

"Great." Robin said. "But let's go somewhere else in the tower. Someplace nice; where we can talk."

"Uh, alright. Where do you want to go, Rich?"

Robin grinned wickedly at his own quick thinking. "How about the pool?"

Raven's cheeks turned a slightly pink hue as she said, "Sure. But I'm going up to our room to change first."

"Cool. Meet you at the pool?"

A look of disappointment washed over Raven's face. "You don't want to swim?"

"Sure I do."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "So are you planning on swimming in your costume and cape, or do you have a pair of swim-shorts stashed in that utility belt of yours?"

Robin flashed a wink at her, as he tapped his fingers on the third belt-compartment to his right.

Shaking her head, Raven turned to leave the elevator.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I already told you, to our room to change."

"Uh...Raven? Our room's upstairs. And I thought _I_ was supposed to be the one with amnesia."

Raven laughed. "You _are_ Robin. Besides, don't you remember what I told you earlier? The elevator is broken." Smiling to herself, Raven turned and walked down the hall, leaving one very embarrassed superhero in the broken elevator.

* * *

As he waited for Raven to show up, Robin sat at the edge of the pool and dangled his feet in the water. As he sloshed his feet around, he heard a small chuckle that nearly sent him falling into the pool out of surprise. Looking up, Robin thought he was going to have a heart-attack. 

Raven, bikini-clad once again, blushed lightly as she saw Robin's jaw hanging ever so slightly ajar. The buxom young woman walked over to her husband and sat down next to him, dipping her feet in the water as well. "So...you gonna tell me what's going on?"

Snapping out of his trance, the confused hero replied, "Huh?"

Raven smiled. "The kiss, Robin. You want to tell me what's on your mind?"

Robin swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't know...I...its weird."

"What is?"

Sighing, he replied "This is how it's been from my perspective, Rave. Two nights ago, I was a 16 year old kid, knee-deep in puppy love, and having awkward, adolescent sex with Starfire for the first time. The next day, I wake up only to find out I'm 26 now, and married to one of my best friends...and_ not_ Starfire. But here's where it gets weird, ok? After spending just one night with you, Raven, I started feeling really confused. At first, I didn't know what was going on. I felt...weird, but couldn't figure it out. Then, this morning, it hit me. I mean, it _really_ hit me. I realized, that these feelings of 'love' that I had for Star, were really just a mix of caring and compassion for a good friend, and an out of control teenage libido."

That last line actually made Raven laugh. "So how did you come to _that_ conclusion, oh mighty detective?"

"Because until this morning, I didn't know what true love is."

"What happened this morning?"

"This morning...I fell in love with you."

Raven blinked. Its not that she wasn't used to hearing Robin tell her he loves her, but still, it took her by surprise. She hadn't been sure if Robin would ever feel this way about her again, and even if he did, Raven didn't expect him to have these kinds of feelings yet, at least, not without regaining his memories from the past decade as well. "What?"

Robin sighed. "I don't know, Raven. I don't know much of anything anymore; everything is all just so confusing. But, the one thing I do know, the one thing that I absolutely can not deny, is that I'm in love with you. I'm not even sure how it happened. Maybe it was all those hours we spent talking last night. Maybe it's my subconscious love for you fighting through the amnesia. Maybe it's a little of both. All I know is, I can't stop thinking about you, and I want to know more. I want to know about _us_."

A small, almost unbelieving smile crept its way up Raven's face as she scooted herself over to sit closer to Robin. "So...where do you want me to start?"

"How about from the beginning?"

"Well then make yourself comfortable 'Caped-Crusader' because this is going to be a long one."

It was a few months after Robin and Starfire ended their relationship, and they were each still dealing with it in their own way. They had spent so much time together, that now that they were apart, it left them both feeling very lonely. Starfire remedied this by attaching herself to Cyborg and Beast Boy, rather than Raven because she found herself happier when she was able to take her mind off the break-up. This was far easier to accomplish with loud, flashy video games and other such "mindless" activities. When she tried spending time with Raven, Star found she had even more time to think than when she was just by herself.

While Starfire was out spending every waking moment with Beast Boy and Cyborg, Robin found himself doing quite the opposite. He locked himself in his room for hours at a time, throwing himself into his work. The distance between Robin and the other Titans grew, and he saw less and less of his friends as each day went by.

This was one of such days. "Yo! Robin! Where you at?!" The loud, booming voice could only belong to one Titan.

"I'm right here, Cyborg." Droned a voice from behind the metal behemoth.

"Rob? _There_ you are man, where ya been? Ah well, save it, it's not important. What _is_ important is the half-price mega-movie marathon down at the multiplex and we're already LATE. So c'mon Boy Wonder, get a MOVE ON!"

Much to Cyborg's exasperation, Robin didn't budge. "Sorry Cyborg, but I don't really feel like going out today. Maybe next time, alright?"

"You sure man? Triple-feature for the price of one."

"Yeah, I'm sure. You guys go have fun. See you all when you get back."

Reluctantly, Cyborg turned to leave. "Alright man, take it easy. If you need us, you know where we're at."

"Don't worry, I won't. Have fun." As Cyborg closed the door behind him, Robin let out a sigh and plopped himself down on the couch. With Cyborg, Starfire, and Beast Boy always around and in full force, Robin was starting to feel suffocated. He took a deep breath in and thought to himself 'Man, it feels good to have those three out of my hair for a while.'

Robin was so far lost in thought that he failed to notice the dark figure standing behind him.

"Robin," her voice droned, "all of your brooding is interrupting _my_ brooding. But since I've got the reigning seniority in that department, I'm telling you to cut it out. **_Now._**"

As Robin turned to face his invader, he let out a groan. "Raven. What are you doing here?"

"I _live_ here."

"I mean, why aren't you out with the others?"

Raven glared at him. "Five hours with Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg watching pointless, mind-numbing movies? I don't know _how_ I could live with myself for missing it."

Covering his face in his hands, Robin muttered something about never having a moment to himself.

Raven rolled her eyes and walked around the sofa to sit next to Robin. "Look Wonder Boy, if there's one thing I know better than anyone else, it's this: bottling your feelings up and keeping them in isn't an easy thing to do. Now _pay attention_ Robin, because I don't say this to many people. But...if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to... don't hesitate to come to me."

With that, Raven got up and began to leave. After taking a few steps, she stopped and added, "Just be sure to _knock_ first."

* * *

It was later on that night and Raven was sitting on her bed with a book in her lap and a pen in her hand. 

_**Raven's Diary, September 5, 2005**_

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm such an idiot. For some stupid reason, I got it stuck in my head that today I would make an effort at being more open towards Robin. What a stunning success **that** was. All I managed to do was weird Robin out and pretty much destroy any chances of him ever wanting to talk to me ever again. I still don't know what I w_

Suddenly, someone knocked on Raven's door, causing her to jump out of surprise. Putting her diary and pen down, she swung her legs off the bed and walked over towards the door. "What do you want?"

"Uhm...Raven? It's me."

Raven stopped dead in her tracks. 'Robin. Oh my god. What could _he_ want?'

"Raven? Are you there? Can I come in?"

Snapping out of her trance, Raven hurried to the door and opened it. "Robin. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Raven. I was...um...I was just wondering, if maybe...I could take you up on that offer from this afternoon?" As the violet-haired teen stared at him in silence, Robin added with a weak smile, "I remembered to knock first."

Fighting back a giggle, Raven just nodded to the Boy Wonder and opened the door wider. "Sure, Robin. Sorry about that, here, come in."

"Thanks, Rave."

Raven blinked. 'A nickname? _That's_ something new.' "So... what's on your mind, Robin?"

The teen-hero sighed. "Well, I thought a lot about what you said, and you're right Raven. I _do_ need someone to talk to."

Raven sat down on her bed, and patted the space next to her, gesturing for Robin to sit down. The masked teen complied and sat down to Raven's left.

"You say you need someone to talk to, so talk."

Robin sighed. "It's just this whole thing with Star."

"Ah. Still not over her yet, huh?" asked Raven with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Robin shook his head. "No, it's not even that. I know she doesn't love me anymore, and to be honest, I don't think I love her anymore either." Raven gave him a puzzled look, but said nothing so he could continue. "The problem is, while I was with Star, we were always around each other, you know? I always had someone to keep me company. Now that we're over, I guess I'm just...kinda lonely."

Raven looked up at his face in surprise. Of all the problems that Robin could have been having, this was not what she was expecting. When she welcomed him into her room, Raven had braced herself emotionally for an onslaught of 'How could she do this to me?' and 'I loved her so much, how could she not feel this way anymore?' But instead, all Robin wanted was...some company? "...You know Robin, maybe I can help you out with that."

After that, everything started to fall in like clockwork. Starfire, with cohorts Cyborg and Beast Boy faithfully at her side would go out nearly every day in search of any and all assortments of shenanigans. Meanwhile, back at the tower, Raven and Robin were spending their time together, relaxing around their home and just talking with one another.

Raven felt comfortable with Robin, and she found that with him, it was easier for her to talk about things that she dare not bring up with any of the others. She was finally able to let off some steam about the whole Terra incident without having to worry about offending Beast Boy or any of the others.

"It took me a long time to get over her betraying us like that, you know."

"Yeah," Robin said, "I could tell it was really getting to you."

"The worst part is I couldn't say anything to anyone. Beast Boy was still in love with her, and if I said anything around him, I know I would have hurt him. Starfire still considered Terra her friend, so I couldn't talk to her about it, and Cyborg, well, even though I know he would have understood, Beast Boy was always by his side, so it was impossible to get him alone and talk."

Robin looked up at Raven. "But how do you feel about her now? I mean, I know it's hard to get her betrayal out of thought, but I try to remember the good things about her, you know?"

Raven sighed. "Don't worry, Boy Wonder, I've made my peace with Terra. A couple of weeks after her...death, I went and visited her and we...well, we had a talk."

Robin looked up at Raven in shock. "Wait a minute. When you say 'had a talk' do you mean you..."

"Yes."

"You mean you contacted Terra's spirit and talked to her, and DIDN'T TELL ANY OF US?!?"

"What could I have said to make anyone feel better about it, Robin? 'Hey guys, I talked to Terra's soul today, and she says she's really, _really_ sorry.'"

"Well, what _did_ she say?"

Raven looked up at him with a small smirk on her face. "That she's really, _really_ sorry."

Their daily talks went on for months. Both Raven and Robin were delighted to finally find someone who understood them. It was this special connection with each other that allowed them to talk about things that they would never even dream of bringing up around the others.

"Hit me."

Robin lazily tossed Raven another card. "So?"

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Hit me."

"Nuh-uh. You aren't getting any more cards until you answer the question."

"What is this, black mail? I thought we were playing black _jack_."

Robin smiled, but still refused to deal Raven any more cards.

Sighing, she said, "Fine. Blackfire."

"_Blackfire?!"_

"Well who did you _think_ I was going to say, Star?"

"Well..."

"This is a stupid question, Robin. Let's just forget it."

"Hey, this question-game was _your_ idea."

"Well I never expected you to ask me anything _that_ stupid. And sexist. And perverted."

"What's wrong with my question?!"

"Robin," Raven droned, "you asked me if I were a lesbian, who would I want to screw. If that doesn't qualify for 'stupid question of the year' I don't know what does."

Robin chuckled and finally threw a card Raven's way. "So what's the verdict?"

Raven frowned. "Bust. And have I mentioned you're a terrible card dealer too?"

* * *

It was a year or so later and about three in the morning. Robin was fast asleep in bed, when suddenly he was woken up by a light, yet persistent tapping at his door. Grunting and grumbling, he rolled out of bed and lumbered over to the door. Before even opening it, he said "Raven. I know that's you. What do you want?" 

As the door opened, the gothic beauty gave him a small smile and said "I, uh, couldn't sleep."

Robin rolled his eyes and said "So what does that mean? That you had to take it out on me just because I _could?"_

Raven looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, Dick. I should have just left you alone. You can go back to sleep now."

As she turned to leave, Robin sighed and put his hand on her shoulder. "Come back here. Rave, you're my best friend. If you need someone to talk to, you know I'll always be here for you, I just like to think that I'm entitled to a bit of bitching here and there."

Raven smiled and said "There's a full moon out tonight. Want to go up to the roof?"

"Sure."

When they got there, Robin gasped as he saw the moon hovering over Titans Tower. It was huge, and its light seemed to give everything under it a soft, beautiful glow.

"Isn't it amazing?" Raven asked in awe.

Robin nodded. "You never could sleep when there's a full moon."

"At least not on a night with a clear sky, anyway."

Robin felt a lump in his throat grow as he gazed at his friend. With the moonlight washing over her, Raven was the most beautiful thing Robin had ever seen. Although for the past year or so, he had already thought that. "Hey Rave?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What?"

"Do you...I mean, you know, _like_ anyone?"

"_What?"_

"You heard me. Do you like anyone?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

"I don't know, I know everything else about you, it's the only thing we've never talked about. This just seemed like a good time to start."

"Robin I...I don't really feel like talking about that right now."

"Oh, come on Raven, it's just a simple question."

"Robin. I told you, I don't want to talk about it." Her tone was getting stern, but Robin persisted.

"It's a yes-or-no question, Rave."

"Robin..." Her anger was growing, but still Robin pressured on.

"Please Raven? What else are we going to talk about? It's not like I'll make fun of you or anything, I just want to know."

"NO, Robin. I told you, I DON'T want to talk about it, why are you being such an ASS?!"

For a couple of seconds, Robin didn't say anything. Then, finally, with a soft voice, he said "...I'm sorry, Raven. I didn't mean to make you upset. It's just...I..." he swallowed the lump and forced himself to continue. "It's just that I...well...I really like you. In fact, I think I'm in love with you, Rave. And well, I guess I just wanted to know if you felt the same way. I'm sorry for picking such a stupid way to do it. I think I'll go back to bed now. Goodnight."

Raven stared in disbelief as the boy she loved so for long finally said the words she always hoped he would. After all this time, she had practically given up all hope, Robin was her best friend now, how could he ever have feelings like this for her?

"Robin...you idiot."

He turned around to look at her again. "_What_?"

"All this time...you've had feelings for me?"

"...yes."

"Why didn't you say anything _sooner_?!"

"You're my best friend, Raven. I wasn't sure if you felt that way about me, too."

Raven chuckled softly to herself as she walked over to Robin. "Dick, I've been in love with you for years. I was in love with you even before you and Star got together. Trained by the world's greatest detective, huh? Well it looks like you may have missed a few clues this time, Boy Blunder."

Robin smiled. "Well, you always have been a mystery to me, Rave. You're the only person I've ever had a hard time figuring out."

"So detective," Raven teased, "is that all I am to you? Just another mystery?"

"No," Robin said as he pulled Raven in close to him, "just the only one that matters." Bathed in moonlight, Robin and Raven finally found their lips embracing one another's, sending an unimaginable amount of pleasure throughout their entire bodies. Holding her petite figure in his arms, Robin said "I love you, Raven Roth. And I always will, for as long as I live."

As Raven finished telling her story, Robin just stared at her in amazement. Hearing the story of how they fell in love, it touched his heart in a way that nothing else ever had. 'I promised to love you forever, Raven,' he thought, 'and that's a promise I intend to keep.'

"So," Raven said finally, "does that help?"

Smiling, Robin wrapped his arms around Raven, and then, his smile melted into a wicked grin as he sent both of them toppling into the water.

"AAAH!"

When they both surfaced, Robin said, "Yes, I think that helped a lot."

"Ass." Raven said as she splashed some water at Robin's face.

"That can't be the end though."

A puzzled look washed over Raven's now soaking wet face. "Huh?"

"I mean, you told me about how we got together, but, we've been together for the past six years, haven't we? I mean, there's got to be more to tell then just how it started."

Raven smiled. "You know, you're lucky I'm in love with you. I'm not exactly known for being a girl of many words, and you sure have had me talking a lot in these past two days, Rich."

Robin grinned as he swam over towards her. "Would it help if I promised to take you out to dinner tonight?"

"Yes, I think that would help very much." Raven said with a grin. "So what do you want me to tell you about?"

"I don't know. You're the one that remembers everything. Something important."

A devious smile playing across her face, Raven said "Well...I could tell you about our first time."

Robin blinked, but said nothing.

Raven smiled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

It was Raven's 22nd birthday and Robin was doing everything in his power to make it a night she would never forget. He had tried to do the whole 'romantic evening for two' for her birthday last year, but she was turning 21 then, and the rest of the Titans insisted on taking her out for a night of drinking instead.

But that was _last_ year. This year Robin had everything planned down to the detail. He had bribed Beast Boy, Starfire, Cyborg and Speedy out of the tower for the rest of the night, made Raven her favorite meal for their candle-light dinner, and rented a couple of classic horror movies. Robin looked down at the DVDs in his hand. He hated these kinds of movies, but they were Raven's favorites and this night was all about her.

After dinner and half-way through the movie, the two Titans found themselves huddled together on the couch. Raven was beside herself with content. When she ventured out of her meditation room this evening, nothing could have prepared her for the surprise she found in the common room.

Candles dimly lit the room, setting the mood as Robin leaned against the dining table with two glasses of wine in his hands. As he handed her a glass, he whispered "Happy birthday Raven."

Raven sat down across from Robin and gasped when she looked at her plate.

"Char-broiled steak and shrimp scampi served on a bed of pasta."

"Robin...did you _make _this?!"

Robin chuckled. "Alfred wouldn't let me move out of the house until he taught me how to cook."

Raven smiled sweetly. "You never cease to amaze me, Rich."

Everything about the night had been perfect and now Raven was wrapped tightly in the arms of her love. With each thrill and scream of the movie, Raven and Robin held each other closer. Finally, Raven couldn't take it anymore. The scary movie had gotten her blood pumping and now there was only one thing she wanted.

"Robin."

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm ready."

Robin gave her a sideways glance. "Ready for _what_?"

Sighing, Raven climbed onto Robin and straddled his lap. "For _this._"

Gulping, Robin nervously asked "Are...are you sure about this, Rave?"

Ever since they started their relationship, Raven had made it abundantly clear that they would have sex only when she was completely ready and not a moment sooner. Raven was a child of rape and sex was not a subject that she took lightly. But as she now sat in Robin's lap, slowly grinding against him and looking deep into his eyes, she knew she could never be more ready than this.

"I'm sure, Rich."

As they began to make love, Raven started to lose herself in their passion. As her mind slipped away and her feelings began to take over, her eyes started to glow a fierce red. All four of them. Soon, Robin found himself making love to a pure, unbridled demonic fury. And god help him, he was enjoying it.

After they had finished and Raven had regained control, she gasped when she saw Robin. The dark sorceress used her powers to heal the cuts and scrapes her fingernails had left on Robin's back, and to re-set his dislocated shoulder. As she tended to his wounds, Raven apologized profusely, nearly going into hysterics but Robin only smiled.

"Please, Raven. Don't worry about it. Any amount of pain is worth it if it means being able to be this close with you."

His words were so sincere and full of love that Raven accepted them and pulled him in for a kiss. They spent the rest of the night kissing and enjoying the feel of each other's embrace.

However, it wasn't long before desire once again reared its head and the two lovers found themselves having sex practically on a regular basis. Each time, Raven lost control and each time Robin suffered some sort of injury. For a while, the injuries were minor and never went beyond cuts, scratches, bruises, scrapes, sprains or strains. That was of course, until one night. The couple were in their bedroom making love for the third time that night. As Raven was brought to an orgasm, something inside her snapped. She lashed out with her hand and slashed Robin across the face. As Robin's head turned with the blow, Raven lunged at his now vulnerable neck and sank her teeth into him. Robin's pain-filled scream snapped Raven back to reality as she stared in horror as the blood gushed from her lover's neck.

It was after this incident that Raven and Robin decided it was time to free Raven from her father's influence. It was time to confront Trigon.

Raven spent the next three days in constant meditation. It was one thing to transport herself to Azarath, and even that took a lot out of her. But this was a different story entirely. This time she would be traveling all the way to the Netherverse, the alternate dimension where the people of Azarath have imprisoned Raven's father, Trigon. And she wouldn't be going alone.

Finally, on the fourth day, Raven emerged from her meditation and went to find her lover. Robin had been preparing himself as well, both physically and mentally. From what he had learned about Trigon, he knew that there was a chance he might not return from this trip. But it was all for the sake of Raven, his one true love, and any risk was worth it for her.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Then take my hand."

Robin did as he was told. "Raven?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

A tear threatened to fill her eye as Raven smiled weakly at her boyfriend. "I love you too, Rich. Now clear your thoughts and what ever you do, don't let go."

"I won't."

"I know." Raven took a deep breath, and then started to chant. "Azarath, Metreon, Zinthos..."

A blanket of black engulfed the two heroes as the world they knew melted away. After what felt like a second and forever at the same time, the black shroud dropped and Raven and Robin took in their new surroundings.

The world they now stood in was dark, and reeked of death. The ground beneath them was frail and eroded, while the sky above them was a chilling crimson. Suddenly, a voice from behind the heroes boomed.

"WHO DARES INVADE THE REALM OF TRIGON?!"

"Hello _father_." Raven spat.

"Aah, dear daughter. I was not _expecting_ you. And what's this? You've brought me a gift. A human _sacrifice_, perhaps?" The towering demon's voice was filled with pure malice, so much so that Robin had to fight the urge to cringe with each word the behemoth spoke.

"That is not why we are here, and you _know_ that, father."

"Then tell me, _dear daughter_ why _have_ you come?"

Taking a deep breath in, Robin stepped forward. "She's come here, because I've asked her to bring _me_ here. And the reason I've come, Trigon, is to tell you that Raven is no longer yours to torment, she is no longer yours to control. Because she's _mine_ now and I _love_ her."

The red giant bellowed with laughter so cold that it sent chills throughout the couple's bodies. "Is that _so_? Have you really come to love this spawn of a demon? HAHAHAHA! I _like_ you, human. You amuse me. But tell me human, if you have really grown to love my daughter..." a fang-filled grin played across Trigon's monstrous face, "then you must _hate_ me."

Raven opened her mouth, as if to warn Robin, but he did not need it.

"You're wrong, Trigon." Robin said, his bravery echoing in his words. "Meeting, befriending, and then eventually loving your daughter has been the greatest experience of my life. She means everything in the world to me, and if not for you, she wouldn't exist and I would have never found a love this strong. It is for those reasons, that I could never truly _hate_ you. Because you will always be responsible for the single greatest part of my life."

With no hate to draw his power from, Trigon began to panic. He turned to Raven and said "I could _kill_ him right now, you know. I could kill him and then there would be nothing left for you to fight for. Your rage and pain would take you over, and you would become _mine _forever."

"No, father," Raven said, "because if you killed Robin, there would be no time for me to succumb to your powers."

"And why is _that_?"

"Because if you killed him, I would take my own life as well."

Trigon stared at his daughter in disbelief. She had always been strong-willed, but he had never known her to be _this_ strong.

"Think about it father, if I took my own life right here and now, you would lose your prize trophy of your one true human-conquest. You would have _nothing_"

Frustrated, Trigon stepped away from the two Titans and tried to collect his thoughts.

"Face it, Trigon. You've lost. I told you before, Raven's _mine_. And I'm _hers_. And I LOVE HER!" Robin shouted at the great demon.

Trigon let out a bone-shattering roar as he slammed his fists into the ground in defeat. At that moment, Raven let out a gasp as she felt a dark evil leave her body. Her father's demonic influence was gone.

"LEAVE ME!" the monster bellowed. "I never want to see either of you ever again. LEAVE ME NOW!"

When the two travelers returned home, Robin immediately threw himself onto their bed. The entire ordeal had left him physically and mentally drained and all he wanted now was to get some well-deserved sleep. Unfortunately for him, Raven had other plans.

"What do you think you're doing, Robin?"

Richard sighed. "I'm going to _sleep_, Rave. What does it _look _like I'm doing?"

"Robin." Raven said; her voice growing stern. "I can't _believe_ you. I'm finally free from my father and all you want to do is SLEEP?!"

"Well what do _you _want me to do?"

Raven flashed Robin a sexy smile as she began to undress herself. Then, with a cat-like grace she crawled onto the bed and climbed on top of him. Pulling herself close to Robin, she moaned into his ear "I want you...to teach me to _feel."_

* * *

_**Interlude**_

The sweat dripped from his brow as Roy strung another arrow. The muscles in his arms and chest strained as he pulled back the string. They strained even more as he held that string, fully-extended, and waited. He waited for what must have been close to five minutes, his eye never leaving the target. Speedy's muscles were tiring, but he had come too far to give in now. Twenty-seven arrows had been shot, and with each arrow, Roy had gotten closer and closer to the center of the target.

Ever since his talk with Raven a little over an hour ago, Roy had been struck with inner-turmoil. This morning had been the first time Speedy had ever talked about his problem, and once he heard himself say it out loud, he had been sick to his stomach. 'Raven may be alright with it,' he thought, 'but that doesn't mean that _I_ have to be. Roy Harper will _not_ be a slave to drugs anymore. I didn't fight through all that pain and suffering just to come _half_-clean.'

Roy took in a slow, deep breath, and concentrated. His arms were just another part of his body, and like the rest of his body, he controlled them. Roy's plan was simple. He was going to _will_ his arms steady. Roy closed his eyes and concentrated on his arms. He could _feel_ them trembling, and now he was going to make them stop. He concentrated, and concentrated, letting everything around him disappear; the only part of his body that mattered right now were his arms. Suddenly, Speedy's eyes flew open and he looked down at his arms. They were as steady as rocks. Smiling, he closed his eyes again and let the arrow fly. Roy didn't even need to look at the target to know that his arrow had hit dead center.

Relaxing for the first time since he had entered the training room, Speedy put down his bow and quiver and reached into his pocket. Taking a large zip-lock bag out of his pocket, he looked down at the quarter-ounce of marijuana in his hand. "Well darling, you're the last of it. Hate to tell ya this, but Roy Harper won't be needing _you_ anymore. Now I just have to figure out what to do with you." Suddenly, a mischievous grin grew along Speedy's face as he shoved the bag back into his pocket and walked out the door, whistling a cheerful tune.

* * *

After toweling off, Robin and Raven decided to rejoin their friends. After his talk with Raven, Robin felt at peace with himself, and with this new world he now found himself in. As they entered the room, Robin went straight up to Barbara and surprised her with a hug. 

"Babs...I'm sorry about earlier. I just..."

The woman formerly known as Batgirl smiled. "I know, Dick. You're going through a lot right now. I don't blame you for it."

Robin's smile soon turned serious. "So tell me the truth, Babs. I know you came here to check up on me and see how I'm doing and everything. But I know you better than that. Why did you _really_ come here?"

"Robin!" Raven gasped.

But Barbara just smiled. "No, it's alright Raven. I keep forgetting how well your hubby here knows me. He's right, there is another reason I've come here. _Two,_ actually."

Robin sat down on the sofa opposite to Babs, Raven sitting next to him. "So what's the problem, Babs?"

"First of all, there's Wayne Enterprises. See Dick, after Bruce passed on, he left his company and everything he owned to you, only problem is-"

"I don't know anything about running a global conglomerate."

Barbara nodded. "So what we did was, set it up so that I run the company, and _you_ play the figure-head. Bruce had so many people working for him that my job practically does itself, it's your job that needs to be done now. There are a bunch of big social events coming up in Gotham, and Wayne Enterprises needs its owner to make appearances. We need Richard Grayson."

"Ok. So what's the second thing?"

Barbara smiled. "That's the one I think you'll like a bit better. Ever since Bruce died...crime in Gotham has sky-rocketed. The streets just aren't safe anymore, Dick. We need you. We need _Batman._ Look, I'm not asking you to move back or anything, just come to town and kick some ass for a little while. Show these goons that the bat still flies."

Robin smiled. "Oh, yeah. I think I can do _that._"

"Great." Said Barbara. "When's the earliest you can leave?"

"We'll leave tomorrow morning." Said Raven suddenly. Robin looked at her, but Raven merely shrugged and said, "What? You didn't expect me to let you go off on your own, did you?"

Robin laughed and Raven cuddled up next to him. Suddenly, a familiar chime played throughout the room as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Said Cyborg as he got up off the couch and walked over towards the door.

"Who could _that_ be?" Robin asked as he turned to look at Raven. She simply shrugged and then went back to burying herself in his shoulder.

"WHERE IS HE? IS HE ALRIGHT? DOES HE REMEMBER ME?!"

Every head in the room turned towards the direction of the new voice.

"WAIT! Don't go in there yet!!" shouted Cyborg from the other room.

But he was too late. As the girl entered the common-room, a nervous-silence fell over everyone as Robin just stared, as if he had seen a ghost.

"So," the girl said, "from the look on his face, I'm guessing no one's told him about me yet. Um...hey, Bats. Uh..._surprise_?"

Robin just stared with his mouth hanging open until he was finally able to sputter out the word "T...TERRA?!?"

* * *

(Authors' Notes: Well, this was the big one, as a pretty faithful RR shipper, this was definitely one of the more exciting chapters to write. One of the lines I took out of this chapter was the 'there wasn't any closure' line, when Robin is talking to Raven about his breakup with Starfire. If you read chapter 6, then you'd know that I completely contradicted myself and wrote the breakup with a lot of closure. Sorry about that. 

Also, in case you're looking for some Star bashing, sorry, but you won't be finding it here. I like all of the Titans, Robin and Raven just happen to be my favorite. As for Starfire, like Speedy and Beast Boy she'll have a little flashback vignette of her own in the next chapter. Expect to see a Cyborg spotlight in the seventh chapter.

As for Raven's powers, she still has them, even though her father's influence is gone. She's grown and now has an easier time keeping them in control, however, if she undergoes heavy stress or emotional pain, her powers can threaten to act up again. What Raven no longer needs to worry about, is her father taking advantage of her emotions in order to transform her into a demon like himself (like she did in the comics).)


	6. Smoke and Mirrors

WARNING: This chapter also contains some drug use, and I'm sorry about that if it offends you, but as you'll see when Roy and Raven address the issue, that it's there for a reason. But don't worry, this is the last chapter to have any of that in it.

* * *

Chapter Six: Smoke and Mirrors

Terra smiled nervously as Robin continued to stare at her, never blinking once. "Um, Robbo? You gonna be alright?"

"T...Terra. It's..._you_!"

Raven rested her face in her hand. "_Brilliant_ deduction, my love."

Robin shook his head and tried to regain his composure. "Terra. I...it's just such a shock to see you. How did you..."

"Wake up from the big dirt-nap?"

Robin nodded.

Terra smiled. "Actually, I've got _this_ sexy-mama here to thank for it." She playfully nudged Raven in the gut with her elbow.

Robin turned to his wife in surprise. "_Really?_"

Nodding, Raven said. "STAR labs went to work on Terra right away, trying to find some way to bring her back to life. The first thing they tried was physically turning the rock back into flesh and blood, so they brought in the usual cast of matter-converters, Firestorm, Metamorpho, and even his counter-part Shift. Of course, nothing worked. Terra barely understood her powers herself; I'm not sure how they were expecting anyone else to figure it out. Anyway, we had been so busy with our own stuff that we never really focused our time or energy on Terra." A twinge of guilt could be heard in Raven's voice, but the blonde girl only grinned. Terra said nothing, but smiled at Raven with a look that said 'Go on.'

"Like I said," Raven continued, "we never really worked on bringing Terra back; STAR labs were always the ones doing everything they could. Then, early last year, they made an announcement saying that they were giving up. When I heard that..." Raven looked down at the ground. "I felt terrible. We should have been working _with _STAR labs to bring her back; instead we just stood idly by."

Terra sighed. "You know Rave; you sure do know how to ruin a perfectly happy story with all your unnecessary guilt. So Bats, here's the non-depressing cliff-notes version. Raven went to STAR labs and told them that she had been able to contact my spiritual consciousness with her powers. Once they heard that, they agreed to give it one more shot. Since they couldn't change me back themselves, the idea was that maybe if they could get a strong enough connection to my mind, I could do it myself. It was SWEET! They brought in Dr. Fate and the _Martian Manhunter_!! Fate used his magic to enhance Raven's own, and the Manhunter used his powers to strengthen the psychic bond." Terra beamed. "It's not everyday you get to come back to life AND meet two of the Justice League's big guns!!"

Raven frowned. "Terra...how can you be so happy about it? Don't you get it? If I hadn't have been so negligent...if I hadn't have been so uncaring, we would have been able to bring you back years ago!"

Terra wrapped Raven in a hug and patted her back in an attempt to calm her down. Smiling softly, she said with a quiet voice. "This is about Gar...isn't it?"

Raven turned away from her friend. "I keep thinking about it. If...if you had been around before he left...maybe things would have turned out differently."

"Rae, I know this is hard for you, but you're going to have to stop blaming yourself. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have come back at all."

As the two girls comforted each other, Robin just stared in amazement. Could this really be the same two people who once nearly tore each other apart in a fight to the death in that mud-filled warehouse?

Terra gave Raven another reassuring smile. "I miss Gar every day, Rae. He was my first love and I'll never forget him." Brushing the hair away from Raven's face, Terra said, "You know, I've never been much of a religious person. But still...I thank God every day for you, Raven. For giving me this second lease on life...even after all those things I did to you. All those things I said..." Terra wiped a tear from her eye as her grin returned. "But don't be sad for Beast Boy. He's in a better place now. And look at me, Rae! I'm doing great! I've got a new guy now, and he seems to be working out just _fine_. ...even if he _is _half-machine."

Robin blinked. "WHAT??"

Blushing, Terra replied, "Yeah. Me and Cyborg hooked up not too long ago. It took us forever just to talk about our feelings."

"Yeah..." Cyborg added. "We were both feeling pretty guilty. It was still so soon after Gar left us..."

Growling, Terra lightly kicked Cyborg in his robotic shin. "This **_moron_** went so nuts he almost wiped his brain clean of all his feelings and emotions! I had to TALK HIM OUT OF IT!" She kicked him several more times.

"Ow! Hey! Cut that – _ow_! – OUT!"

Robin laughed. For the second time that day, he finally felt like he was truly at home.

It was at that moment that Speedy entered the room. "Hey Babs, you realize both your back tires are flat? I was just down in the garage. I went down there to go and chit-chat with your driver, but I guess he went out to lunch or something."

Barbara nodded. "I gave him some cash and said to get a hotel room in the city for the night. He'll be back in the morning. Wait. Did you say my back tires are _flat_?!"

"Yeah, nasty puncture on both of them."

"Dammit."

"No worries though. Cyborg will fix you right up, eh Vic?"

"Aw yeah," crowed Cyborg, delighted at the chance to work on a new car. "Just lead the way, little-lady." Barbara wheeled herself out of the common room with Cyborg closely in tow.

As they left, Robin turned to Speedy. "_Both_ her back tires were flat?"

"Yeah," Speedy replied, as he took an arrow out from his quiver to inspect it. "Dulled one of my good arrows to do it, too. Damn thick tires."

Terra snorted out a laugh, but Raven only glared. "Roy, why the hell did you pop Barbara's tires?"

Speedy smiled. "I just wanted to give the four of us some time to _bond, _Rae. I figure, with Cyborg down there, he'll find about a thousand other things he'll want to tweak on her car, so we should have the room to ourselves for at least another hour or so."

Raven flashed him another suspicious look. "What are you _up_ to, Roy?"

"Nothing! Look, do you think you could go to the kitchen and grab us some snacks?"

"Uh, no."

"Come on, Rae. _Please_?"

Sighing, she said, "Fine." Turning once more to give Roy another questioning glance, Raven walked off towards the kitchen.

"So Roy..." Terra said, "What _are_ you up to?"

Speedy smiled a wicked grin as he reached into his pocket. "You see guys, today's a celebration! After today, Roy Harper is a hundred percent clean. No more drugs. Period."

Smiling warmly, Terra said, "That's great, Roy. Good for you."

Robin's eyes went wide. "_DRUGS_?!"

Speedy chuckled as he remembered that no one had filled Robin in yet on his previous addiction. "Chill, Bats. It's just some buds. See, this quarter-O is the last of it, and I didn't want it to go to waste. I don't need to smoke this stuff to keep my arms steady anymore; I took care of that this morning. And...well...you know, I didn't want this stuff to go to waste or anything...so I thought maybe the four of us could finish it off..."

"WHAT?!"

"Relax, Dick. You smoke with me and Terra _all_ the time, right T?"

Bewildered, Terra looked at Roy. "Huh?" Then it dawned on her. "Oh! Oh _yeah,_" she said with an evil grin on her face. "_All_ the time."

As she was using her powers to gather sandwiches and crackers in the kitchen, Raven's flow of thought was interrupted by the sound of Robin practically coughing up a lung. 'What the hell?' she thought.

Raven slapped herself in the forehead when she saw the scene that greeted her. Robin and Speedy grinned at her like idiots while Terra had her mouth planted securely against a large bong. Rolling her eyes, Raven groaned, "Not _again_..."

* * *

"Hahahaha! You've gotta be kidding me! Are you _serious_??"

Terra beamed at Robin's laughter. "As serious as a certain purple-haired sorceress we happen to know."

Raven rolled her eyes and looked to Robin for support, but he was still caught in a fit of laughter.

"So...the general public _actually_ believes you're-"

"A genetic clone sent from the future."

Robin, Terra, and Speedy erupted into hysterics again as Raven just sulked.

"Well...we had to tell them _something._ Terra publicly seized the whole city once, every resident of Jump knew her face, and we had to give them some story so they wouldn't treat her like a terrorist or something."

Robin raised an eyebrow at the beautiful woman next to him. "And how exactly did '_genetic clone sent from the future_' become the story you decided to give them?"

"Well," Terra started, "actually it was Cyborg's idea. He said it's what..." her voice started to crack a bit, "He said it's what Beast Boy would have wanted. So...we kinda just went with it."

Robin nodded silently as he thought back to all those times the Titans had a mystery to solve, and Beast Boy had rattled-off his far-fetched and seemingly idiotic scenarios. Back then, they used to roll their eyes at him, and write him off as a fool. Now, Robin realized just how much he missed Beast Boy and his light-hearted view of the world.

Raven's gaze moved from Robin to Speedy who had promptly packed another bowl into the bong and began to light it. "I _can't believe_ you two actually tricked my husband into doing _drugs_ with you! How _could_ you guys? You _know_ Richard's always been clean. Roy, I blame one-hundred percent of this on you. How could you take advantage of your friend like this? You know he has amnesia, I just...I can't believe you'd do this. How many times am I going to have to say this to you, Roy? We're _super heroes_. We _don't_ smoke pot."

With a sheepish look on her face, Terra raised her hand grade-school style and said "Uh...actually, I'm not. I'm just a meta-human _civilian_, so..."

"Yeah..." Robin started, "I've been meaning to ask about that-"

"Hold on, Dick." Speedy interrupted, "Me and Rae need to have a talk here. Look Raven, this is the second time today that you've given me this "We're super heroes, we don't do drugs" speech, and to tell you the truth, I don't buy it. We _are_ super heroes Rae, but what does that _mean_? Does it mean that we're somehow _better _than the people we save? I sure as hell don't think so. We're not _gods_, Raven. We're not _above_ anyone, just because we put on the costumes and capes and run around saving people and fighting bad guys. Take that away from us, and at the end of the day, we're still just people. The day we put ourselves above the people we dedicate ourselves to protect is the day we lose sight of who we are. We're people _first_, Rae. Super heroes second." Roy sighed, "Now look, I'm sorry for tricking Dick into smoking with Terra and me, I'll admit, it wasn't the most mature thing to do...and it wasn't the most ethic thing to do...but think about it, Rae. The guy just woke up yesterday to find out he's lost out on ten years of his whole damn life. That's a big, friggin deal! If I woke up, only to find my dad was murdered by a man I thought was dead, and that my hand was forced to kill my own friend, well, I'd do a lot more than just smoke some pot, I'll tell you that much. The guy lost everything, Rae. I figured the least I could do for him was ease his nerves a bit. I know there are a lot of better ways I could have done that, but frankly, I am who I am, and I did it the only way Roy Harper ever would."

The slightly awkward moment of silence that followed Speedy's speech was broken by, "You're wrong, Roy."

Speedy turned his head in surprise. The rebuttal hadn't come from Raven as he expected, but rather from Robin.

"Excuse me?"

"I said you're wrong. I didn't lose everything when I woke up in that hospital room, Roy. I may have lost a lot, but there was one thing I gained from all this."

"What's that?"

Robin smiled. "A wife. And a love that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Even my seemingly 'perfect' past."

Speedy grinned as he patted Robin on the shoulder. "That's why you're my boy, Bats."

As the conversation started up again, and the tension died down, Raven relaxed herself and sat down, cuddling up to Robin once more. Although she wasn't about to admit it out loud, Speedy's words had struck home with her, and as she held Robin closer, she could feel her anger taking its leave.

"So Dick," Terra said, "before Roy went all 'un-holier than thou' on Rae, were you gonna ask me something?"

"Yeah." Robin turned to face Terra. "I was wondering...Terra, why aren't you a Titan anymore?"

Terra gave her friend a slightly sad half-smile. "I think we both know the answer to _that_ one, Bats."

"Bullshit, Terra. You made a mistake, if there's anyone who knows about making mistakes when it comes to Slade, it's me. Look, I'll be straight with you Terra; you did some terrible things..." Robin paused to look at his friends around him. His wife, the formerly unstable daughter of a demon. Speedy, the rehabilitated heroin junkie. "But really, if this team has anything to stand by, its redemption and forgiveness. Be a Titan again, Terra. You don't have to prove yourself to us. We already forgive you."

Raven let out a small gasp. "Oh my god..."

"Whoa." Roy added in agreement.

Bewildered, Robin looked up at his friends. "What?"

Shaking her head in disbelief, Terra said in a soft voice, "That's exactly what you said to me when I first came back. Word for word. Look Dick, you guys may have forgiven me, although why I'll never know, but the thing is...I still haven't forgiven myself." A forlorn look fell upon her face as she stared off into nothingness. "Sometimes I wish I really _were_ a genetic clone from the future. Maybe then I would have an easier time living with myself. I feel sick to my stomach when I think about all the things I did to you guys. And then to find out that after all that, you still cared about me enough to bring me back? I don't deserve to be a Titan, Dick. I was never cut out to be on this team and you know it." Her smile slowly returned. "But that doesn't mean that I won't be your friend."

Robin smiled. "I guess that'll have to do. For now..."

"So Bats, did the doctor say how long you're going to have your amnesia for?" Terra asked suddenly.

Robin blinked. "No, he said he wasn't sure." Suddenly a warning light went off in Robin's brain as he realized something he hadn't thought of before. "Oh my god!"

"What?"

"That doctor! He...he saw my face! He knew my name! My _real_ name! HE KNOWS WHO I AM!!"

There was a pause before Raven, Speedy, and Terra broke out in hysteric laughter.

"You guys think this is _FUNNY_?!"

Raven chuckled. "Relax, honey. That doctor was Pieter Cross. That name ring any bells?"

"No. Should it?"

Grinning, Roy said, "Well, he goes by another name too. 'Doctor Mid-Nite', maybe you've heard of him?"

"...No way..."

Roy barked out a laugh. "_Way_. Mid-Nite's in the League. He's one of us. We mask and cape types gotta take care of our own when it comes to stuff like this."

"Yeah," Raven added, "didn't you think it was weird that there was an owl in a birdcage in the waiting room?"

Robin shrugged. "I don't know, I guess. I've been to lots of dentist offices that have fish tanks..."

"Well," Roy said as he started to get up off the couch, "since you two are off to Gotham tomorrow, I think I'd better go put out the call to a couple of the reserve members. Don't want our ranks to be too thin while you're gone."

Raven nodded. "Who are you calling in?"

"I was thinking Joto and Charlie."

Scoffing, Raven said. "_Charlie_? Good luck with _that_. Unless you've got a paycheck attached to that phone call, I doubt Charlie will be that eager to answer."

Roy sighed. "Tell me about it."

Robin turned to Raven. "Who's Charlie?"

"The Golden Eagle."

"**_Who_**?"

"Nevermind."

* * *

As she sat at her dresser in the dimly-lit room, Starfire stared into her mirror, fascinated and repulsed at the same time at the person who stared back. "Who _are_ you?" she asked her reflection. For the first time in a long time, the cheerful Tameranian just didn't feel like herself. Ever since the previous night, Star had been confused and depressed. The problem was, she wasn't quite sure why.

No. That was a lie. When she stopped hiding from the truth, Starfire knew exactly what was bothering her.

"X'hal! Why...why did he have to _kiss_ me...?" For the first time in years, Starfire found herself thinking about Robin, and about the relationship they once shared. Regardless of how things turned out, Robin was her first love, the first boy to ever give her butterflies in her stomach, the first boy to ever make her blush uncontrollably with just a smile and a touch. He was her first kiss, her first date, and also, her first heart-break.

It wasn't much longer than a year after the happy couple had first gotten together. A new villain had appeared, and Robin had dedicated himself to bringing him down. The man wore a blue mask and called himself "The Ravager". What caught the attention of the Titans, however, and more specifically Robin, was the fact that the Ravager claimed to be the son of Slade.

After their first encounter, Robin locked himself in his lab, running test after test. He _had_ to know for sure if this villain was really the son of his greatest enemy. The first test results came out negative. Starfire was delighted.

"This means that he was false? That he was in fact, not Slade's offspring? Wonderful! Now we may spend our time together again, yes, Robin?"

"I'm sorry Star, but one test just isn't enough. I have to know for sure. I...I'm sorry. We'll spend some time together later, ok?"

"...ok."

The second test results came back negative. And the third, and the fourth. By the time that Robin realized the Ravager had no blood connection to Slade, Starfire was getting near the end of her rope.

"I do not understand, Robin! This...'Ravager', he is in jail, and you have run dozens of tests all telling you that he was not related to Slade! Why do you persist?"

"Because he _knew_ about us, Star. He knew about Slade. He knew things that he shouldn't have known, and I need to find out how."

"But...it has been so long since we have partaken in a 'dinner and movie' night, it has been so long since last you held me. I _miss_ you, Robin."

Robin sighed as he held her hands in his. "I miss you too, Star. But right now, I need to concentrate on my work. This is _important_."

"...more important than _me_?" Starfire asked in a soft, sad voice. But Robin gave her no answer; instead he turned and retreated back into his room, leaving his girlfriend in tears outside his door.

'Why can't she understand?' Robin thought. 'She knows how much my work means to me, but she shouldn't be getting so upset. She knows I love her.' A chill ran up Robin's spine as he came to a startling epiphany. 'No...no...that's not true...is it? If I really loved Star, then nothing could keep me from her now. God, she's out there probably crying because of me and I'm in here trying to victimize myself. This isn't how it's supposed to be...she's my girlfriend...I...I'm supposed to be in _love_ with her...' Robin collapsed into his chair. 'So then why aren't I?'

The next day, Robin decided he would try and tell Star how he felt. He would tell her that he was no longer in love with her.

"Robin?"

"Oh. Hey Star, I was, uh, just looking for you. Can we talk?"

"Yes, Robin. I was also looking for you, we indeed need to talk."

"Ok. You first."

Starfire took a deep breath in, and then, in a calm and controlled voice, she said, "Dearest Robin, I do not believe that we should remain partners in intimacy any longer. I am sorry, but I cannot love you if you will not love me in return. When I first met you, Robin, you were filled with such enthusiasm and boyish joy. It was that boy that I fell in love with Robin, not the one who locks himself away from those who only wish to make him feel loved. I am truly sorry, although sincerely hope that we may remain friends. I am not sure what I would do without you in my life, Robin."

Bewildered, Robin just nodded. He tried to make words come out of his mouth, but nothing happened. In reaction to his silence, Starfire lowered her heard and turned to walk away, but he caught her by the shoulder and forced out the words "Of course we'll still be friends, Star. I don't know what I'd do without you either."

In the months that followed their break up, Starfire tried dating again, but to no avail. She saw Aqualad for a few weeks, but even that ended up not working out. It was a little over a year after her break up with Robin that Starfire realized she had made a terrible mistake. Robin may have hurt her, but he had also done many wonderful things for her in the short time that they were together. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that when she and Robin were together, she was far happier than she had been in a long time. It was then that Star realized she still loved Robin and it was then that she vowed to get him back. But then, as fate would have it, it was then that Robin and Raven expressed their feelings for each other and finally got together.

Star was crushed when she learned that Robin and Raven were together, but she was truly devastated when she saw how much in love they were. The way Robin looked at Raven, the way she made him smile, it was the way Star always wished he would look and smile at her back when they were together, although he never did.

Star couldn't understand what it was about Robin that made her love him so much. Next to Raven, Robin was the second most 'dark and brooding' member of the team, even the simplest of logic told her that she had very little in common with the Boy Wonder, yet at the same time, they seemed to match so well.

As the years went by, Starfire was finally able to get over her loss of Robin, and she was even able to feel genuine joy for him and Raven. However, Star was convinced that she would never love again. That was of course, until Speedy joined the Titans.

Roy was everything Starfire loved about Robin, but with something more. He had a certain flare to him, a unique light-hearted look on life, regardless of the pain and struggles he suffered because of his addiction. Roy was able to give Starfire something that Robin was not. He gave her cheerfulness, and joy. He always greeted her with a grin, and made her laugh with his jokes. He knew how to take his work seriously, but he never checked his feelings at the door, like Robin did.

It was for those reasons that Roy and Starfire made such a good couple, and that was why Star now felt so guilty. She loved Roy, and she loved the relationship she shared with him. But when Robin kissed her...he was not the Robin who once shunned her away and refused her his love. He was the Robin she knew so long ago, and that was why his kiss made such an impact on her. Sighing, Star took another look into her mirror and said to herself, "X'hal, what a fool I am. I have locked myself away from my friends because of the guilt I feel over the feelings caused by Robin's kiss. Sitting in here by myself will do nothing to make me feel better. The only thing that shall be able to make me feel better now is love, and the only person capable of giving that to me...is Roy."

Smiling for the first time in days, Starfire took one last glance at herself in her mirror. The cheerful young woman filled with joy and compassion that glanced back at her was now very familiar. "Hello, Starfire." She said to herself. "It is good to have you back."

* * *

_**Interlude**_

It was a rainy afternoon in Keystone City as a blue Impala pulled into the cemetery parking lot. As he killed the engine, Joto Crockett sulked at the thick, gray rain around him. Joto hated going out in the rain, it always made people stare. A part of him wanted to just turn the ignition back on and pull right out of that parking lot. But that was a shallow and petty part of him, and his heart would not allow it. Not on this day.

As he stepped out of the car, the rain instantly sizzled upon impact with his body and turned to steam. Ignoring the stares of the other mourners, Joto ventured on to a part of the cemetery he had gotten to know all too well. He was twenty-five now, and had been coming here every year since he was fourteen.

Coming to a stop, Joto sighed as he gazed at the two headstones in front of him. "Hey mom. Hey dad. It's been awhile."

When he was younger, people said Joto had it 'lucky'. Despite being of African descent, and growing up in a gang-filled city like Keystone, he avoided the stereotypes and statistics. Joto lived a good life. His father was a judge, and his mother was a stay-at-home mom. They lived in a nice, two-story town-house on the "good" side of town. Growing up, Joto never dealt with drugs or gang violence, his biggest worry was making his parents proud of him. He meant the world to them, and even before he was born, his parents knew he was going to be special.

When Mrs. Crockett was 5 months pregnant, she started to notice a strange, warm feeling coming from inside her. X-rays and thermo-scans showed that it was nothing to worry about, just that the child inside her was giving off an abnormally high amount of body heat. It was because of this that Danielle Crockett named her son Joto, which was 'heat' in her native tongue of Swahili.

As he grew older, Joto excelled in academics as well as sports, but it was the former that his father cared most about. But Judge Crockett never cracked down on his son, nor did he ever punish him when his grades slipped. He just encouraged Joto to do better and said "I know you, Joto. You're capable of so much. Live up to your potential, son. You'll do great things when you do."

It was those words that echoed in Joto's head as he ran home from school that day. He had just received his first high school report card and couldn't wait to show his father his 4.0. However, since his father wasn't home yet, it was his mother that greeted him at the door. Beaming, Joto proudly held up his report card as his mother drew him in for a hug.

And then...everything that Joto knew and held dear to him came crashing down. By some cruel twist of fate, it was at that exact moment that something inside Joto's body awoke. Something that had been there from the beginning. Something that had been lying dormant. That 'something', was Joto's meta-human powers. As his mother hugged him, Joto's skin began to steam, as if something were causing his sweat to evaporate at an alarming rate. Then, the unthinkable happened. His entire body shuddered as he released wave after wave of pure heat from every nook, every cranny, and every pore in his skin. Mrs. Crockett didn't stand a chance.

Everything around them started to melt, but Joto could do nothing to stop it. A look of absolute horror on his face, Joto could do nothing as he watched his mother die in front of him. Then, when things couldn't possibly get any worse...they did. The door opened behind him, and Joto's father walked in. Taken aback by the horrific scene before him, Judge Crockett's initial response was to try and save his son. If only he had known that Joto was somehow immune to his own heat, if only he had known that the surge of power was about to die down, then maybe, just maybe he would have survived. But when it came to his son, nothing on earth could stop Michael Crocket from trying to save him, and it was because of that love, that he perished as well.

Horrified by what he had become, and by what he had done, Joto ran. It wasn't long before his powers acted up again, but this time, it happened around another resident of Keystone. Wally West. The Flash. After seeing what Joto was capable of, Flash immediately took him to STAR labs. It was there that Joto was outfitted with his containment suit. When he was given the 'ok' to leave, the Flash asked him, "So what are you gonna do now, kid?"

Once when Joto was young, he had asked his father why he did what he did. He asked why he was a judge. His father only smiled at him and replied, "Because I was given a chance to help people, my boy, and there is no greater honor in life, than to know that you have saved one."

So when the Flash asked Joto that question, it was with no hesitation that he answered, "I'm going to protect."

"Protect who, kid?"

"Everyone."

After saying his 'I love you's and his 'I'm sorry's, Joto walked back to his car and got in. As he was driving away, he heard a catchy tone coming from inside his glove compartment. He reached inside and pulled out a round, yellow device. As he flicked it on, Speedy's face appeared in the screen.

"Hey Joto! How's it going, bro?"

"Hey Roy. It's going alright; I was just...visiting my parents."

Speedy's bright smile faded. "Oh jeez. I forgot, it's August 12th, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Look, I'm sorry man. If this is a bad time, I can just call someone else."

"Don't be stupid, Roy. I didn't agree to be on the Titan's reserve list for nothing. What's up?"

"Well, see, Batman and Raven are leaving for Gotham tomorrow, and from the way things are looking, they'll be gone a couple of weeks at the least. With our leader and resident magical-powerhouse gone for that long it leaves the Titans pretty short-handed. So I was just calling to see if you'd be down with filling in for them while they're gone. So whaddya' say, Hotspot?"

Looking up from his communicator, Hotspot glanced at his reflection in his rear-view mirror. When he saw his face, glowing red and orange, Joto didn't see a freak or misfit. He saw someone who was given a chance. Hotspot looked back down at his screen and smiled at Roy. "I say, let's save some lives."

* * *

(Authors' Notes: I know some of you were confused on how I brought Terra back, so I'm sorry about that. Hopefully I'll be able to clear that up for you now. Last chapter, Raven tells Robin that she's contacted Terra's spirit and talked to her. In the episode 'Every Dog Has His Day', it is revealed that Raven can contact the spirit world. I thought this was interesting and something that could be worked with. Since STAR labs couldn't turn Terra back to flesh and blood themselves, they hoped that maybe if Raven could contact Terra's mind inside her body, then Terra herself could reawaken and use her own powers to transform herself back. Dr. Fate and the Martian Manhunter are two members of the Justice League (for this story, I'm assuming that the Teen Titans cartoon and the Justice League Unlimited cartoon are taking place in the same universe). Dr. Fate is well versed in magic, so his job was to amplify Raven's powers and make them stronger. J'onn J'onzz the Martian Manhunter is a telepath, among other things. So his job was to establish a solid psychic bond with Terra's mind for Raven to focus her magic on.

At some point in this story, I wanted to address the politics of being a superhero just a little bit. That was the reason for the drug use in this story, so that Raven could argue against it, and so that Roy could argue his opinion on super heroes. Yeah, I'm a dork. Whatcha gonna do?

The character Hotspot for the cartoon was based on the comic book Titan 'Joto'. When giving Hotspot a background story, I kinda wanted to make up something completely different from the comics, but I did keep a few details here and there. The last name Crockett, his mother and father's professions, and some other things. However, in the comic book, 'Joto' was the codename, and Elijah Crockett was his real name. Since the cartoon's version had the codename of Hotspot, I decided to make Joto his secret identity. Once again, more dorkiness.

Next Chapter: Find out more about Cyborg and what he went through after the death of his best friend. Barbara, Robin, and Raven go to Gotham City. Expect to see some of the classic Batman rogues show up as Robin rages through the city reminding everyone just who it is that owns the streets of Gotham. For those of you waiting for some fight scenes, trust me, they're coming. And just in case any of you think I've run out of tragedy, don't worry about it. There's plenty more of that to come too.)


	7. City Called Gotham

Chapter Seven: City Called Gotham

"Thanks again, Victor."

"Hey, don't even mention it, Babs." Cyborg said as he rolled out from beneath her car. "You might want to have a little chat with Roy though, those puncture marks look a lot like arrow wounds."

Barbara shook her head as a little smirk played across her face. "That man has always been an enigma."

"_Enigma_? Not exactly the word I'd use for a guy who goes around slashing people's tires for no good reason. _Vandal, _maybe."

Barbara let a laugh escape out before turning back to her friend. "Thanks for hanging out with me, Vic."

Cyborg shook his head. "No need to thank me Babs, I'm just sorry I won't be here tomorrow morning to see you off."

Smiling, Barbara said, "You're sweet. But don't worry about it and hey, have fun tonight, alright?"

Barbara laughed as she watched a light shade of pink tint Cyborg's dark cheeks.

Cyborg watched with a smile as Barbara turned and wheeled herself off towards the others in the common room. 'Well,' he thought, 'if I'm gonna have a good time tonight, then I'd better go up to the office and see if I can finish some work before I leave.'

When Beast Boy died, it was as if a part of Cyborg died as well. After losing his best friend, the metal man was changed. Things that used to mean so much to him, like playing video games, now seemed empty and meaningless to him. For a few months after Gar's death, Cyborg was lost. He needed direction, he needed a companion. Luckily, he was able to find both.

Cyborg's happiness however, was not achieved without its fair share of hardships. When Terra returned, Cyborg went through one of the most difficult times of his life. As he began to realize his feelings for her, those same feelings began to wage war with his mind. How could he love the girl that meant so much to Beast Boy, his best friend? Would it be betrayal to love this girl so soon after Gar's passing? 'Yes.' Cyborg convinced himself that it would be.

Deciding that remaining loyal to Beast Boy was more important than his own happiness, Cyborg then needed to find a way to make his feelings for Terra go away. His solution, it appeared, was only a command away. "Erase." "Delete." Cyborg was a unique being. He possessed all the feelings and emotions of a human, as well as the functions of a high-powered computer. One of said functions was able to wipe all of those emotions away. Just a press of a button and a confirmation code was all it would take.

Ever since the operation that saved his life, the operation that made him part man/part machine, Cyborg treasured his humanity more than anything else. At least, almost anything else. Erasing his emotions was the only way. If he kept them, he would continue to have feelings for Terra, and that, in Cyborg's mind, was betrayal to Beast Boy.

It was nine months ago. A lone, hulking figure sat silently in his dark, dimly lit room. Lights blinked from time to time, and the steady 'whrr' of running computers was the only audible sound.

Cyborg's heart and mind were in turmoil. Garfield Logan, the hero known as Beast Boy had been closer to Cyborg than anyone else alive. Forget "best friend", Beast Boy was a _brother_ to Cyborg. And Terra meant more to Beast Boy than any other girl ever did. Cyborg never expected to fall in love with Terra. She was spunky, and he liked that about her, but other than that, they didn't seem to share anything in common.

That was until Beast Boy died. Then, they found they did share something in common. Pain. Pain can be a very powerful thing. It can end relationships and sever friendships, but it can also bind people together forever.

As Cyborg sat in his room, he held a picture of the team in his hand. It was taken years ago, during that short time when Terra was a member of the team. Beast Boy never looked happier, and that was why Cyborg wanted it to be the last thing he saw before he erased his feelings forever.

A tear fell from his eye and landed on the photograph. 'At least the pain will go away too.' He thought.

"He'd hate you forever if you do it, you know that right?"

Cyborg snapped his head in direction of the voice, his gaze stopping at the doorway where a certain blonde-haired young woman stood. "Terra..."

"You think I'm stupid Vic?! I _know_ what you're doing!" She was furious, but as the tears fell from her bloodshot eyes, Cyborg could see that she was in as much pain as he was. "...Why Vic? Why would you do it? Deleting your feelings, god, that's just a small step above _suicide_."

"I know, Terra."

"So that's it then. You'd rather commit emotional-suicide then be with me??" Sniffling, Terra lowered her gaze from Cyborg's face to the floor.

"Terra..."

"He'd hate you for it. Don't you realize that, Vic? If...if Beast Boy were here now, and he saw you doing this...he'd never forgive you."

"Yeah, and if he were here now seeing me fall in love with you, he'd never forgive me for that either."

Suddenly, Terra's hand struck like lightning, slapping Cyborg across the face.

"You _asshole._ Is _that _what you think of him?? Some shallow person who would hold a grudge over a stupid thing like you and me? You disgust me."

"I...I'm sorry."

"He _loved_ you, Vic. If Gar were here and we fell in love, do you know what he would do? He'd tell you everything about me. What I like, what I don't like, just so you'd have a better shot. He'd support us, he'd support _you._ The only thing and I mean the _only_ thing he would never forgive you for, is ruining your own life."

"You're...you're right, Terra, and I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking..."

"You weren't." Terra smiled softly at her companion. "You know Cy, instead of running and hiding from your feelings, you should talk about them." Terra blushed slightly as she hesitated. "...with me."

For the first time since Beast Boy's death, Cyborg found himself smiling back. "You know, I think I'd like that."

"Yeah, I _bet_ you would." With that, Terra leaned in and gave Cyborg a soft kiss on the cheek. "Promise me something, Vic?" she said with a soft voice.

"Anything."

"Please don't ever scare me like this again, ok? I...I need you, Victor. I need you here, with me. _All_ of you. Don't ever let go of your feelings, Cy. They're what make you you...and...and I _like_ you."

A soft smile slowly danced its way across Cyborg's lips as he brushed the hair out of Terra's face. "I like you too, T."

"So do you promise? To never let go of your feelings? To never let go...of me?"

"I promise."

Over time, their love for each other grew and the hero known as Cyborg finally found someone that he could be happy with. But his peace with Beast Boy would never truly be made until the day that Victor Stone had an epiphany.

Although he no longer had any interest in playing video games, he could not deny that they were a large part of Gar's and his life. So Cyborg once again went back to video games, but this time around, instead of playing them, he decided to make and program them. He created a small, one-man company called 'BB Games' and sold his creations to larger video game publishing companies.

Since the technology Cyborg was accustomed to working with was so advanced, it was no surprise that his video games became wildly popular and garnered huge sales. All the money that Cyborg received from his video games went to different charities he set up in Beast Boy's name.

After several long and painful months, Cyborg was finally at peace with both Beast Boy, and himself.

* * *

"So Robin," Raven said with a swagger, "have you figured out where you're taking me for dinner tonight? All that THC hasn't made you forget your promise, has it?"

Robin smiled. "Of course not. But I think I'll let you pick out the restaurant, Raven. I don't...really know what kind of things you like to eat."

Raven wrapped her arms around her husband and smiled sweetly at him. "That's ok, Rich. How about that Thai place down town? It's been a long time since I've had curry."

"Mmmm. _Curry._" Drawled Speedy. "Some curry would be excellent right now. Curry and sandwiches. Hey Terra, if I make some sandwiches, will you make some curry?"

"I don't know how to make curry, Roy. I could make some sandwiches too..."

"Double sandwiches? Sounds good to me."

"Hey," Robin chimed in, "do you think I could get in on some of that sandwich action?"

"Only if by 'sandwich action' you mean 'sandwich making'. Them sandwiches don't make themselves you know."

Raven shook her head. "You people are really something else, you know that? There is a whole tray of sandwiches sitting right over there. You asked me to make some snacks to get me out of the room, _remember_ Roy?"

"Mmpgh." Roy said; his mouth now full of sandwich.

It was then that Starfire entered the room. Smiling warmly she draped her arms around Speedy's neck and said "Greetings, my love. May I join you on the couch of sitting?"

Swallowing the last of his sandwich, Speedy replied "Sure thing, babycakes."

Ignoring his ridiculous pet-name, Starfire turned to Raven. "He has been smoking again, yes?"

"Yeah. Mine too." She said as she pointed with her thumb to Robin who was in the middle of a savage battle with Terra over the last sandwich.

Starfire sighed. "_Males._ Whatever shall we do with them, Raven?"

"I don't know about _you_, Star, but I've got a few ideas of what to do with _mine_." Raven purred.

"Shit!" Terra cried suddenly. "That reminds me! I gotta go find Cyborg."

"What's wrong?"

"Don't worry Robbo, nothings wrong. It's just that we're going to my place tonight and it's all the way across town so I kinda wanted to leave before the traffic gets too gross."

Speedy scoffed. "You two are always going over to your place. What's so great about it anyway? I swear, you and the Tin-Man must spend more time in your apartment than you do here in our fully-loaded tower. What's the deal there?"

"Well Roy, for one thing, Vic doesn't have a _bed_ here. Just that metal slab he straps himself to. We tried it once and I fell off. And secondly, when we're at my place, you**_ aren't_**."

Robin grinned. "Dude. _Burn_."

Speedy raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Excuse me? '_Burn'_? Man, you really _are_ sixteen."

* * *

It was later on that night, and Robin was in the bathroom that he and Raven shared brushing the last remains of curry from his teeth. As he stood there brushing, Robin's thoughts of his pleasant dinner with his wife were interrupted by a sultry call.

"Roooobin" Raven sang in a sexy, husky voice.

Robin peeked his head out from the bathroom to see Raven lying seductively on their bed, wearing only the skimpiest of nighties. "Y...yeah?"

"We've been home for almost an hour already, Rich. When are you going to come join me in bed? I'm _waiting_ for you."

Gulping nervously, Robin stammered, "Um...I...yeah, I'm coming." Cautiously, he approached the bed. Before getting under the covers, he said, "Raven...before anything happens, I just...well, you should know...I mean, I love you and everything, it's just...this is all real new to me, and I'm pretty nervous. I mean, having sex with someone for the first time is always weird enough, but I mean, this would be the first time for me, and not you, and...aaand you're laughing at me."

Raven smiled. "I'm not laughing, Rich. I'm giggling. You're really cute, you know that? Look, sorry to disappoint you Robin, but I have no plans of making love to you tonight. To tell the truth, I'm not even sure if it would be legal for me to have sex with you. I mean, sure, you _look _twenty-six, but you're still a sixteen year old in there, Rich, and I don't want to make things weird. All I want from you tonight is a warm body to hold me, and your tender lips to kiss."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Robin smiled and got into bed. "Yeah, I think I can do that."

* * *

When Robin awoke the next morning, his arms searched under the silky blankets for his lover, but their search came up empty. Opening his eyes, Robin realized he was alone in the bedroom. 'I guess Raven's already up and getting ready to leave.' He thought.

After a nice hot shower, Robin began to pack his things for Gotham. 'I guess I'll be needing all these suits if I'm going to have to attend a bunch of high-class social gatherings. And then of course, I'll be needing _this_ one.' Robin packed the Batman uniform and then decided to head down the hall and find his wife.

As he was walking past Starfire's room, Robin heard muffled voices. At first he thought nothing of it, until he heard clear as a bell, "What troubles you, friend Raven?"

'Raven?' Robin thought. As he listening closer he realized he could hear her, but she wasn't talking. She was crying.

"God Star, these past couple of days...they've been so..._difficult_. I'm trying my best, but it's just so hard to have to put on this happy-act all day when all I want to do is fall into his chest and cry. Every time he says he loves me, I have to fight back the urge to break down in tears. His kisses are always so bittersweet, because no matter how good it may feel...it just isn't the same. I _miss_ him, Star. I miss my _husband_. And I'm getting scared that maybe...maybe he's never coming back."

Robin had to use his arm to prop himself up against the wall so that he wouldn't fall over. Up until now, Robin had been convinced that Raven was happy, that he was making her happy. But now, he realized that it was all an act. This amazing woman, who had given so much of herself to comfort him and make him feel loved, was now in pain, and there was nothing he could do about it. Well, that was not entirely true. There was _one_ thing he could do...

* * *

"You guys all ready to go?" asked Babs with an air of confidence.

"Sure am." Raven answered as she floated all the bags and suitcases into the car's trunk. She wore that same slight-smile on her lips that Robin had become all too familiar with over these past few days. However, now he knew that the smile was a ruse, and beneath it, was a woman in pain.

'She deserves to be happy, dammit.' Robin thought as he got into the car, wearing a fake smile of his own. 'She's the most incredible person I've ever met...I can't let her feel pain because of me.'

Starfire and Speedy were there to see their friends off, so the five of them stood around the car saying their goodbyes as they waited for Barbara's driver to show up.

"I'm gonna miss you two crazy kids." Speedy said as he leaned an arm on Barbara's Buick. "Without you two here, things around the tower are going to be a lot...louder."

"So Roy," Raven asked, "when are the reserves showing up?"

"Hotspot should be flying in from Keystone this afternoon."

"And Charlie?"

"Ugh. I don't want to talk about it."

As Speedy turned away, Starfire smiled and finished his story for him. "Roy attempted to contact the Golden Eagle via his communicator, however, when Charlie answered, he pretended to be a video recording and 'hung up' on poor Roy."

Speedy growled, "That good for nothing punk. Our communicators don't even _have_ video answering machines!"

"'Good for nothing'? Man, I hope no one's talking about _me_."

When Robin turned to look at the new voice, he realized that the man whom it belonged to was someone he had never seen before. He was roughly Robin's own age, and had about the same build. He had short, dark hair that he kept under a driver's cap and wore a warm, friendly smile on his face.

"Madrox!" Roy shouted, "My man! How's it going brother? I came down to see what you were up to yesterday, but you were already gone."

"Yeah, I wanted to get to a pub before the nightly crowds moved on in."

Barbara rolled up next to her driver and with a smile, nodded towards her traveling companions. "Dick, I want you to meet my driver and personal assistant James Madrox. But we all call him Jaime."

"Good to meet ya," Jaime said, "Miss G's told me all about you."

"Well, I guess we'd better be going." Barbara said as she wheeled herself over to the passenger side.

As he shook Robin's hand, Speedy said with a grin, "Take care, you guys. Oh and Bats? If you run into Poison Ivy, tell her Roy says 'whassup'."

"Yes, do take care, friends." Stars added, "And please hurry home soon. It shall be dreadfully lonely here without you."

"Bye Star," Raven said. "Keep an eye on Roy, huh? He's a lot more likely to get into trouble without me here to keep him in line."

Starfire smiled. "I shall try, however I sometimes think not even T'kwanta, the Tamaran god of miracles could succeed in keeping him out of trouble."

* * *

"So Jaime, how long have you been working for Babs?" Robin asked, after they had gotten onto the freeway and were making their way out of Jump City.

"Well, I've been working for Miss G for a couple of years, now. She's definitely the most fun boss I've ever had. You're lucky to have known her all your life, Mr. Grayson."

"Please, call me Dick."

"I bet you say that to _all_ your drivers." Jaime said with a chuckle. "So if you don't mind me asking, what business does the CEO of Wayne Enterprises have with the Titans?"

Robin smiled to himself before answering. Although Raven was dressed in her trademark cape and leotard, he was in a three-piece suit and tie because while her identity is public, his still is not. "Well you know, Titans tower doesn't pay for itself, I happened to have invested a lot of money in the Titans. They're actually close personal friends of mine. That's why Raven here has been kind enough to accompany us as my bodyguard. You never can be too careful when going to Gotham these days."

Raven gave Robin a small but approving smile. He had played his part perfectly. 'He bought it,' thought Raven as she looked at Jaime. 'That should keep his curiosity at bay for a little while.'

"Alright guys, so here's our agenda." Barbara said. "By the time we arrive in Gotham tonight, it'll probably be pretty late, so we can just drop our luggage off at home and then Raven? After that you should contact Batman, he said he would meet you here in town."

"Alright."

"Hey Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't stay up too late partying tonight, we've got a lunch-in to attend tomorrow, and then tomorrow night is the big charity event for Wayne Enterprises."

"Sounds good to me, Babs." At first, Robin was worried that it would be too obvious for both Dick Grayson and Batman to suddenly show up in Gotham at the same exact time. However, his worries did not last long. Barbara assured him that nearly everyone who was anyone in the corporate world would be arriving in Gotham this same day, making it impossible for anyone to single him out as Batman.

"Hey Babs?" Robin asked.

"Yo."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"No need to, I'll ask it for you. 'Hey Babs, why are you a cripple?'"

Robin blinked. "H...how did you know?"

Barbara turned around to face Robin and gave him an impatient look. "Dick, I know you have amnesia but that doesn't excuse you for that one. I've known you all my life, Dick, I can tell when you're trying to ease your way into a sensitive subject."

"Duly noted, sorry Babs."

"Don't worry about it, but thanks for thinking about my feelings. That was sweet. Anyway, it happened about four years ago. You know what the worst part of it all is though? He didn't even know I was Batgirl. That twisted bastard broke into my home and shot me at point blank simply because I was the commissioner's daughter. The Joker shot me because I was Barbara Gordon, _not_ Batgirl. He didn't even think that he knew me. He just wanted my father to feel pain. After he shot me, he took pictures of my bloodied body while he laughed. That laugh...I'll hear that laugh for the rest of my life, Dick. That laugh will haunt me to my _grave_." Barbara took a deep breath in before continuing. "But, despite all that, I've been getting along rather well as of late. The hardest part was getting over the fact that I would never be Batgirl again. That lasted about a year. Once I had moved on, I was able to get on with the rest of my life as well. And Jaime's been a huge help. I'd be lost without Jaime, he helps me with everything."

Jaime smiled. "Yeah, I'm a regular 'multiple-man'."

"Alright, Dick," Barbara said with a grin, "you got to ask me a question, now it's my turn to ask you one."

"Go for it."

"How does it feel to be going back to Gotham?"

"It's...strange. See, to me, I haven't been back to Gotham since I met the Titans, which makes it a little over two years since I've been there. But the Gotham that I'm thinking of probably hasn't been there for several years. I don't really know what to expect...except that it will always feel like home." 'Gotham City,' Robin thought. 'It's been a long time, old friend.'

_**I'm looking over the skyline of the city**_

_**How loud quiet nights in the midst of crime**_

_**How next door to happiness lives sorrow**_

_**And signals of solution in the sky**_

It was hard for Robin to imagine a Gotham City without Batman. He was the conscience to this city that had none. He was as synonymous to this city as Superman was to Metropolis. However, Bruce wasn't the only Batman to have his roots firmly in Gotham soil.

'Gotham City: 18 Miles' said the freeway sign.

'Eighteen miles to Gotham.' Robin thought. 'Eighteen miles to a lost childhood. Eighteen miles to lost parents. Eighteen miles to a cause worth fighting for. Eighteen miles to _home_.'

_**A city of justice, a city of love, a city of peace**_

_**For every one of us**_

_**We all need it, can't live without it**_

_**A Gotham City**_

As the outline of the city skyline slowly started to appear in the horizon, Robin closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. 'This city is where I learned who I am, it's where I was taught everything I know. This city is my _history_. This...is _my_ city.'

_**How sleeping awake because of fear**_

_**How children are drowning in their tears**_

_**How we need a place where we can go,**_

_**A land where everyone will have a hero**_

"Seriously, Babs? Can you shut off the R.Kelly already? You _know_ how much I hate this song..."

* * *

For as long as anyone could remember, the Pennyworths had always been servants to the Wayne family. All his life, Alfred Pennyworth had lived in Wayne manor, tending to first Thomas and Martha Wayne, and then their son Bruce. Technically, the house now belonged to Dick Grayson, but since he lived in Jump City now, Barbara Gordon and her assistant Jaime Madrox resided in the manor and kept Alfred company.

Throughout the years, Alfred had been the one keeping Bruce in line. Bruce was the world's greatest detective, and one of the greatest super heroes to ever walk the earth...but he was _not_ perfect. Bruce refused to allow emotions get in the way of his work, and if ever he needed someone to steer him into the light, it was Alfred who did it. Batman may have been the city's conscience, but Alfred was _his_.

After Bruce was murdered, Robin didn't speak to Alfred for weeks. Alfred feared that Robin somehow blamed him for Bruce's death, but when he was finally able to confront the masked hero, he found that it was actually quite the opposite.

"Master Dick? Might I have a word with you?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure Alfred. What is it?"

"Sir, if you don't mind me saying, I have noticed you avoiding me ever since master Bruce's passing. If there is something you would like to say to me about it, I would greatly appreciate it."

Robin sighed. "You're right, Alfred. It's just...god...Alfred...I'm so _sorry_."

The butler looked up at him in surprise. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Everything that happened was my fault. Slade wanted _me_, he didn't care about you or Bruce. If it wasn't for me...Bruce would be alive, and you would never have been kidnapped. Slade is such a maniac that I don't even want to _think_ about all the horrible things he could have done to you, Alfred. I'm just...I'm just so sorry."

"Is that why you've taken to wearing master Bruce's old costume? Is that why you have become the Batman?"

Robin nodded. "Our world _needs_ a Batman. I only hope I can do Bruce some justice."

"Master Dick, I...I never got a chance to say this to master Bruce, and damn it all if I'm going to miss my chance again. Being given the chance to know the two of you...well sir, it has been the greatest honor of my life. You are truly something special, master Dick. You possess all of master Bruce's integrity and sense of justice, yet you have something that even he needed desperately."

"What's that?"

"You have _love_ in your heart, and _that_ is something more powerful than a thousand 'batarangs'."

Robin smiled as he wiped a stray tear away from his eye. "Thank you, Alfred."

* * *

For three hours, Raven followed Robin through the streets of Gotham on patrol. For those three hours, Raven bore witness to a side of her husband she had never seen before. He raged through the city like a rogue lightning bolt striking in random directions and crashing down with a brutal fury. The petty thugs and thieves were in no way prepared for an attack from the bat. Raven would have almost been repulsed by Robin's savage brutality if not for his grace and fluid, intoxicating motions.

Suddenly, Robin's wrist communicator started to beep furiously. "Go ahead, Babs."

"Batman, I just heard over the police radio that there's been an attack at the Wayne Enterprises building downtown. A similar attack was made two nights ago at the Kord Industries building. But listen up, this isn't like the other cases you've had tonight. This time, it's a _rogue_."

Suddenly, Robin was excited to be out on the streets again. This was the rush he had been longing for; it was _here_ that he truly felt he knew who he is. "Raven?"

"Yes?"

"I know you're worried about me, but if you don't mind, I think this is something I need to do alone. It's personal whenever one of the rogues are involved, and I don't want you getting caught up in this game of cat and mouse."

"So what do you expect _me_ to do? Go _home_?"

"Of course not, Raven. Why don't you head on over to the East End and take care of the gang riots?"

"How do you know there are gang riots in the East End?"

"There are _always_ gang riots in the East End."

After a moment of hesitation, Raven said, "Alright. But take care of yourself, okay?"

"Are you kidding me? This is what I've been _waiting_ for."

As Robin got closer to the Wayne Enterprises headquarters, he felt the air around him slowly getting a bit colder. When he began to see his breath, Robin's suspicions were confirmed and he knew which rogue it was that was making the attack.

When he got to the building, Robin found half of it encased entirely in ice. Suddenly, one of the frozen-solid walls exploded and Mr. Freeze stalked through the makeshift doorway. Freeze's somber, skeletal face stretched into a look of shock and dismay as Robin swung into his sight.

"Freeze. I thought you reformed."

"_Guten tag_, Batman. To what do I owe the honor of this visit to my fair city?"

"_Your_ city, Freeze? Don't make me laugh. If the city was yours, you wouldn't be out here robbing Wayne Enterprises blind."

"Fool! You think Victor Friese would waste his time with petty theft? I do not attack this place to take its riches; I attack to teach them a lesson! The Gotham City that we know is run too heavily by these corporations. They have their sticky fingers wedged too deeply in this city's soul. It was the corporate monster that made me the way I am, and I can take it no longer! It is time for a _new_ Gotham! It is time for a city free of the corporate lies and control. It is time for Freeze to usher in a new era of Gotham City! I am not a _bad_ man, you see. I am just doing what is best for the city."

"And what about the security guards and late-shift workers that were in the building when you froze it? Were you doing what was best for _them_?"

"Sometimes, there must be _sacrifice_ in order to bring about change."

Robin smiled as he whipped a pair of batarangs out from his utility belt. "I was _hoping_ you'd say something like that. You see, I've got a lot of _stress_ to work out..."

As Robin charged at Freeze, he was caught in a powerful blast of ice and cold. Freeze smiled at his ice-encased foe. Then, slowly but surely, the area around Robin's utility belt started to melt. When it was weak enough, Robin broke free of his icy prison and smirked at Freeze.

"I have self-powered heaters in my utility belt that activate when my body temperature drops below zero. Face it, Freeze, you can't win."

Exploding from the shards of ice that once held him, Robin charged at Freeze once more and delivered several blistering blows to his chest. Freeze tried to block Robin's onslaught of attacks, but they were too over-whelming for him. As soon as Freeze was caught off-guard, Robin seized his moment and executed a flawless round-house kick to Freeze's sternum.

Hunched over in pain, Freeze coughed out the words, "I'm...not a _bad guy_...I just wanted..._change_..."

"You've got it all _wrong_, Freeze. You want to change things so bad? Run for _governor_." Robin picked up Freeze's limp form and slammed him against the nearest wall. "Know what your first mistake was, Freeze? You said this city was _yours_. Have you seen the _sky_ lately? Look at it, Freeze! LOOK AT THE SKY!" Robin grabbed Freeze by the helmet and forced his gaze to the sky above them. There, shimmering like a phantom against the dark void was the eerie glow of the Bat-Signal. "Do you _see_ that, Freeze? DO YOU SEE THAT? That _isn't_ a call for _help_ anymore. That is a symbol of _ownership_. This is _my_ city, Freeze! Don't you _ever_ forget that!"

* * *

_**Interlude**_

A cell phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hello _friend._"

"Who is this? How did you get this number??"

"That _is_ the riddle, isn't it?"

"Nigma! What do _you_ want?"

"_Me_? I don't want _anything_. Although...I do seem to have something that may be of interest to _you_."

"And what, pray tell, could _that_ be?"

"What else? A _riddle_."

There is a pause.

"What do you _know_, Riddler?"

"Ah, ah, ah, friend, you know that _isn't_ how it works."

"_Fine_. Tell me the riddle."

"What do you call a bird in bat's clothing?"

"I don't _know,_ Nigma, what _do_ you call a bird in bat's clothing?"

"Back in town."

There is another pause.

"I see." The man with the cell phone covers the mouthpiece with his hand and says over his shoulder, "Hey, Rico."

"Yeah boss?"

"I want you to wire ten-large to Mr. Edward Nigma's Swiss bank account."

"You got it, boss."

"Riddler, you still there?"

"Sure am, friend."

"I'm wiring you ten grand. Thank you for the information."

"Always happy to share a riddle between friends."

As he clicks his phone off, the man with the cell phone's pasty white face curls into a cruel, manic grin.

* * *

It was a few hours after returning to Wayne Manor from their night on patrol, and Raven was tired. As she flipped through a book she found in Bruce's library and sipped on her tea, Raven wondered where Robin was and why she hadn't seen him since their return.

Just as she was about to turn in for the night, the door to the bedroom opened and Robin walked in. There was something different about him though. Something about the way he was standing. He looked...older?

"Raven."

"Yes, love?"

"I remember."

"Remember what?"

"Everything."

The cup of tea that Raven was holding fell to the floor and shattered into a dozen pieces. "...what...what did you say?"

"Raven... _my_ Raven...I remember everything. It must have been tonight. Going out on patrol again, beating on Freeze in the streets of Gotham...whatever it was...I'm _back_."

As Raven looked deep into Robin's eyes, she whispered out the words "Prove it."

Her husband only smiled. "Do you remember our first date, Raven? I took you for a weekend getaway at a ski resort."

Raven's eyes went wide as she stared in disbelief. Dick was telling her things that she had not told him since he awoke with his amnesia. The only way for him to know these things...was to _remember_ them. "I...I remember that, Rich. I was so happy that night that-"

"That your powers caused an avalanche." Batman smiled. "I remember."

Tears fell from her eyes as Raven threw herself into Batman's arms.

"I...I was so scared, Rich. I thought...I thought you'd never..."

"I know. But I did and all I want to do now is hold you, Raven. I love you."

"I love you too."

Suddenly, the door flew open and Barbara came rolling in at full speed. "Dick!"

"Um, Babs? We're kind of having a moment here, if you don't mind."

"I'm sorry, Dick but this is urgent." The tone of her voice made Batman snap to attention. Barbara sounded scared, and she was _never_ scared.

"What is it?"

"It's _him_."

"'Him' who?"

"He knows you're back and he's looking for you!"

"_Who_, Barbara? _Who's looking for me_?"

"The Joker."

* * *

(Authors' Notes: Instead of using an OC for Barbara's driver and assistant, I decided to just grab a Marvelite instead. Jaime Madrox is the mutant known as Multiple Man, a former member of various X-Men affiliated teams. There's no specific reason why I picked him, I just happen to like Multiple Man.

Just in case things got confusing, here's some codename/real names for you:

The Riddler/Edward Nigma

Mr. Freeze/Victor Friese

Cyborg/Victor Stone

Beast Boy/Garfield Logan

Batgirl/Barbara Gordon

As for the R.Kelly song and the 'Arnold' joke...well...I can't really explain those. I guess I was just feeling kinda weird. Anyway, thanks so much for reading this story guys, and please review! It really means a lot to me.

Next: CHAOS! Forget everything you think you know, the f#ked up and unexpected happens next chapter in 'A Sick Joke'!)


	8. A Sick Joke

Hey everyone, this was originally going to be a nasty response to the review I got from RavenDarkSorceress, but I've cooled down, and now I'm just here to apologize and let you all know what's going on. I know I said I'd have the story finished a long, long time ago, and I'm sorry that I havent been able to live up to that promise. But here's the deal, during christmas break, my work schedule changed, and now I work two 12-hour shifts in a row saturday and sunday. Add that with my other two single shifts on wenesday and friday, along with college, and, welllets just say its been hard to find time to work on this story. But I haven't given up on it. I'm about a third way finished with chapter 9 (the last chapter, not including 2 epilogues to follow it). Work may leave me too tired to write, but I have a lot of time while I'm there to think up ideas. The meat of the rest of the chapter is already thought up in my head, I just need the time to put it to paper. Also, I've got some pretty interesting ideas for Prison Break, my next story, which I'll start working on as soon as I finish this one.

And now, for the part I know I'll regret later...

Look you guys, I'm really sorry for not being able to update regularly, but comeon. I write for fun and to relax. I really don't need anyone sending me bitter reviews and calling me "the most inconsiderate person I've ever heard of". Writing on fanfiction isn't a job. Its for fun. I get enough stress from the rest of my day, I don't need it from any of my recreations. I'm sorry for being snippy, and I don't want to give you guys the wrong impression of me, so I'm sorry for that too. I'll try my best to finish this story as soon as I can. Until then, take care and chill out.

Peace,

JustAnotherMutant

* * *

"Please, Richard…_don't_ go."

"I'm sorry Raven, but you know I have to."

"Then I'm going _with_ you."

"**_NO._**" Batman took a firm grip of Raven's arm. "Raven, I'm not fooling around here, you can _not_ come with me."

"I can handle myself, _Robin_. I don't need you to watch over me."

"And neither did Barbara but that didn't save _her_ from him either, did it Raven! You don't _know_ the Joker like I do. That sick son of a bitch will do _anything_ to hurt his enemies. Please Rave, just stay here…for _me_?"

Reluctantly, she said with a sigh, "Alright. But be careful, okay Rich? I just got you back…I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't."

* * *

A million different thoughts raced through his head as the Batmobile roared to life. But as he zoomed into town like a literal bat out of hell, Dick Grayson found himself focusing on just one thought. 'Please…let her forgive me.'

Finding the Joker proved far easier than Batman had predicted. Downtown Gotham City had been transformed into a mad-house. It was anarchy in the streets as an army of face-painted hooligans marched in every direction, destroying anything their crowbars and baseball bats could reach. Suddenly, the growl of a chainsaw filled the night as one of the Joker's men brought a streetlight crashing down to the ground.

The Batmobile came to a screeching halt in the middle of the street and Batman emerged from within its cockpit-like interior. Once the Batman revealed himself to the Joker's thugs, they started to close in a circle around him. Without a single moment of hesitation, Batman growled, "I was going to send you back to your boss with a message…but now I'm having a change of plans. Instead of giving him a message, I think you _will be_ the message."

One of the larger goons, wielding a blood-stained hockey stick smirked and said, "That's some big words from a guy who's outnumbered thirty to one."

Batman smiled. "Outnumbered, but _never_ out-done."

Suddenly, they charged. Like a wave of clown-faced maniacs, the Joker's men attacked Batman all at once, hoping to overwhelm him. They didn't stand a chance. Punch after punch, kick after kick, Batman cut down his assailants quicker than they could get up. His glove-covered fists connected with one face after another, and soon Batman's dark gloves were covered in a strange pink, a mix of the white face paint the Joker forces his men to wear, and the blood from their raw, broken faces. Razor-edged batarangs flew in all directions, cutting and slicing at hands that once held crowbars and baseball bats. Finally, there was only one left standing. It was the large man with the hockey stick, but now he didn't seem so arrogant. His hockey stick was slipping in his hand from his own sweat, and his teeth were chattering as Batman stalked ever so closer to him. "Puh…please man…I didn't _want_ this…I just…I needed the money, and the Joker pays good…please….don't hurt me. If you want me to give him a message…I can _do_ that! Just please…don't _hurt_ me…"

"Weren't you paying attention?" Batman growled. "You _are_ the message." Faster than the goon could react, Batman brought the steel-toe of his boot crashing into the pleading thug's abdomen. Once he was hunched over, Batman's knee came slamming into the goon's face, knocking him unconscious. As he stepped over the dozens of fallen foes, Batman shouted, "I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, JOKER! COME OUT WHERE I CAN SEE YOU, YOU **_COWARD_**!"

"Twinkle, twinkle little…_bat_." As he stepped out of the shadows, the Joker dragged a menacing Tommy-gun behind him. "The Joker's here and he's brought his _gat_." A spray of bullets erupted from the Joker's firearm as he cackled maniacally.

Batman ducked behind a parked car for cover and to catch his breath. 'This is it.', he thought. "You know Joker," he said when the bullet-fire ceased, "when I first heard I'd be coming to Gotham, I wasn't sure if I'd run into you or not. You've been keeping quiet for quite some time." As he leaped onto the roof of the car, Batman gritted his teeth and pulled out a sleek, black bo-staff. "You should have _stayed_ quiet."

"Oh come now, Batsy-dear, did you _really_ think I'd _miss_ this?"

"No more games, Joker! This ends _now_!"

"No more _games_? Now where's the fun in _that_, Robby my boy? You don't _mind_ if I call you 'Robby', do you? I mean, we've known each other for so _long_…" Before the Joker could break out in one of his famous laughs, the blunt end of Batman's bo-staff came slamming into his face. As blood and broken cartilage leaked from his battered nose, the Joker rasped, "You'll _pay_ for that, _Bats_." Gone was the airy, almost whimsical tone in the Joker's voice. All that was left now was psychosis and rage.

"I warned you, Joker. No more games!"

"You have _no idea_ what you've gotten yourself into, _little boy_. You think just because you're wearing the Bat's old pajamas, I'll be _afraid_ of you? You're nothing but a _sidekick_ pathetically trying to cling on to the one thing that used to make him feel _special_. You're _not_ Batman."

"You're right, Joker. I'm not Batman." Quicker than any eye could see, Batman's staff struck again, this time crippling the Joker at the knees. "Well…maybe I should _re-phrase_ that. I'm not the Batman that _you_ _knew_." Suddenly, Batman brought his foot crushing down, shattering the remains of the Joker's kneecap. 'That one's for _you_, Babs.' he thought. Ignoring the Joker's cries of pain, Batman grabbed him by his purple collar and lifted the Joker off the ground. Not wanting to take any chances, Batman ripped the flower from his foe's lapel.

'Dammit.', the Joker thought as his carnation laced with poison gas fell away from him.

Gritting his teeth again, Batman tightened his grip on the Joker's shirt. "Listen to me, you worthless little _worm_. I am _not_ the Batman you knew and things will _not_ be the same. The Batman you knew _needed_ you. You were the 'yang' to his 'yin'. By giving a name and face to his inner demons, you kept him _sane_ by giving him someone to_ fight_. But I am _not_ him and I do _not_ need you. I already told you Joker, no more _games_. I'm giving you one chance and one chance _only_. End it, Joker. End it all and end it _now_. There will be no 'clown prince of crime'. There will be no Joker. If I even hear that you've done so much as steal some kid's _lunch money_…I will _find_ you…and I will _kill_ you."

A slow smile started to creep across the Joker's bruised and bloodied face. "Do you really think I'm _stupid_ enough to fall for that bluff? You're even _more_ pathetic than I thought! The Bat _doesn't_ kill." Batman released the Joker's shirt collar, but before the pasty-faced villain could dust himself off, he found his neck in Batman's vice-like grip.

"How many times am I going to have to repeat myself! I AM _**NOT** _THE BATMAN YOU KNEW! You don't _know_ me, Joker! You don't know what I've done…and what I'm _capable_ of doing. I've killed my greatest enemy with my bare hands. I killed the man who killed _Batman_. Even _you_ were never able to do that, but I killed the man that _was_. I've also killed…one of my best friends in the whole world. He went insane and I crushed the breath right out of his throat. Just like I could do to _you_ right now. But I'm not going to. Do you know _why_, Joker? Because you're not _worth_ it. These hands have killed the man I hated more than anything else in the world, and they've killed a person I considered _family_. But_ you_? You're _nothing_ to me. You're not worth my time." As he released his grip on the Joker's throat, Batman snarled one last remark. "Take my advice, Joker. Do what I told you. End it all and end it _now_. You **_don't_ **want to do anything to make yourself _worth_ _it_."

* * *

By the time he got back to Wayne Manor, it was nearly four in the morning and Batman was exhausted. As he walked down the dark hallway, he could see a soft light shining from under the door to his bedroom.

When Dick opened the door, Raven looked up from her book and smiled. "Hey there, Caped-Crusader. Did you get the bad guy?"

"Yeah, I did." Dick looked at the bedside clock. "You stayed up all this time waiting for me?"

"You sound surprised."

"Nah," he smiled, "just grateful."

Dick sat down at the edge of the bed to take his shoes off, and as he did, Raven slid up behind him and began to massage his shoulders. "You feel _tense_.", she purred.

"Mm.", was all Dick could say in response.

Raven slinked her arms around his chest and pressed herself against his back. "Maybe you need something to…_relax_ yourself." A sly, sexy smile played lightly on her lips. Raven's hands started to move from his chest down to explore the rest of his body. When her hands reached the fly of his pants, Dick grabbed her hands with his and turned to face his wife.

"No, Raven…I'm sorry, not tonight."

A hurt look washed over Raven's face. "But…but it's been almost a week since you fell into that coma…it's been almost a week since we…"

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I'm utterly exhausted, Raven. I can barely keep my eyes open. I've been at it all night, first those muggers, then the bank robbers, then the _other_ muggers, then Freeze, then the Joker and about thirty of his goons."

Raven cocked her head at her husband. "Thirty?"

"Thirty. And the Joker had a _tommy-gun_."

Raven smiled softly at Dick. "Alright, honey. Let's just get some sleep, then. You've earned it."

"Thanks, Raven. I…I'll make it up to you…_tomorrow_ night."

Raven grinned. "You're damn right, you will."

* * *

"So remind me again Babs, who exactly am I having lunch with?" asked Richard as he, Barbara and Jaime were driving through the streets of Gotham. It was the next day, and the first thing on Dick's agenda was his business lunch-in.

"Your lunch-in today is with the heads of three of your subsidiaries." said Barbara, matter-of-factly. As Jaime stopped the car in front of a fancy French restaurant, Richard hoped that he would be able to pull off his CEO act. After all, he was a super hero, how could he be expected to fit in with three corporate moguls?

Dick followed Barbara in to the restaurant and let her take charge for the time being.

"How may I help you sir and madam?"

"We're with the Grayson party."

"Ah, very good madam. Follow me, please."

Following the waiter, Richard let out an audible groan when he saw the table they were being led to. Sitting at that table, were three men that Dick would know even if his amnesia were still a problem. Under his breath, he hissed at Barbara, "I thought you said this was a _business_ lunch-in."

"It _is_ business."

"Don't pull that on me, Babs. You _tricked_ me."

Barbara sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? But they called and begged me to set this up. _Please_, Dick?"

"No, Babs. Not going to happen. You know how I feel about this. Why did you even let them talk you into this in the first place?"

"Well…at first I wasn't going to…"

"_But_…"

"But…then they put _him_ on the phone."

Dick raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Are you serious?"

Barbara nodded. "I know you've been through this a hundred times, Dick, but you know I can't say no to _him._ No one can."

"Yeah, no one except maybe Luthor."

Barbara didn't completely lie to Dick, however. The three men sitting at their table were indeed the heads of three subsidiaries of Wayne Enterprises. Unfortunately for Richard, these three subsidiaries happened to be Kord Industries, Tyler Co., and the Goldstar Corporation, and the three men sitting at his table were Ted Kord, Rick Tyler, and Michael John Carter. Richard met them years ago, and it was Bruce who introduced them.

As Dick and Barbara sat down, Ted greeted them warmly.

"Hey you guys, thanks so much for coming, you look great."

Sighing, Richard said, "I'm sorry, Ted, but I'm really not in the mood for these formalities right now. I _know_ what you guys want, and just like before, I'm _not_ interested."

"But why _not_?" said Michael, frowning.

"Because I already told you, I'm the _leader_ of the Titans, and I'm committed to _them_."

"But we _need_ you, Bats! It just isn't the Justice League without _Batman_."

Sighing, Dick took a good, long look at the men sitting around him. Although they looked like your typical corporate moguls, these men each hid a secret of their own. Michael John Carter, head of the Goldstar Corporation is actually Booster Gold, the arrogant, yet lovable hero from the future. Ted Kord, owner and CEO of Kord Industries drives a BMW by day, but by night, he flies around in a ridiculous bug-shaped hovercraft as the Blue Beetle. When Rex Tyler passed away, he not only left the legacy of Tyler CO to his son Rick, but also the legacy of Hourman, the super hero with amazing powers that last only an hour at a time. They are friends, heroes, and more importantly, they are members of the Justice League.

"Look Dick," Beetle said, "We're not asking you to leave the Titans forever, we just want you to give the League a shot. Big Blue thinks you're ready, and he's been especially looking forward to you joining."

Richard let out a low growl. "Oh _has_ he? Well you can tell _Clark_ that he shouldn't get his _hopes_ up. The Titans are my _family_. I'm not going to leave them just to become another countless soldier in that _army_ you call the 'League'."

Speaking up for the first time since Dick and Barbara arrived, Rick said, "It's not like that, Dick, and you know it."

"Don't even get me started on _you,_ Rick. Not _today._ You of all people should know what it's like when you have to fill your father's shoes. But I'm not like you, Rick, and I'm not like Bruce. I'm a _different_ Batman, and my place is with the _Titans_. Please, I consider all three of you my friends, but hear this; if you _ever_ try to pull a stunt like this again…it _won't_ be pretty. I'll say it again, just to set the records straight once and for all. I. Won't. Join. The. League. End of story. Good afternoon, gentlemen."

As Dick turned and stormed out of the restaurant, Barbara looked up at the three men sitting around her. "I'm really sorry about this, you guys. Dick's just…well; he's been going through a lot lately."

"Don't worry about it, Babs." Said Ted. "That went about as well as any of us expected. Really, it's ok. See you tonight at the charity event?"

"Of course. I'll see you guys tonight. Well, I'd better go and try to find him before he gets himself into some kind of trouble."

Once Barbara had left, Booster turned to his companions and said, "Why are we even wasting our time with this? He's just too damn stubborn; he'll never hear what we have to say."

"You're wrong, Booster," Hourman replied, "Dick is a friend of mine, I've known him most of my life, our fathers were business partners for awhile, so I got to know him pretty well. It's not that he's stubborn…he's just tired of living in Bruce's shadow. Ever since the start, he's been trying to prove that he's his own man, and I think we should leave him alone."

Blue Beetle smiled. "That's not what you told Superman."

"Yeah well, no one in their right mind would tell Superman anything he doesn't want to hear."

* * *

Five minutes was all he needed. Just enough time to change into something more…appropriate to fit his mood. Five minutes after leaving the restaurant, Dick had suited up and was leaping from rooftop to rooftop as Batman. He still had a few hours to kill before he'd have to get ready for the charity event, and had a lot of anger he needed to get rid of.

Batman stood at the edge of the Gotham Clock Tower roof, looking out at the city that he had left so many years ago. _His_ city.

"You know," said a voice from behind Dick, "back in _my day_, the Batman only came out at _night_."

Batman twirled around to face down his intruder, but as soon as he did, Dick wished he hadn't. Because there, floating in the air in front of him, was the last person on earth Batman wanted to see right now.

His red cape flowed in the wind, and his python-like arms were crossed tightly over his chest.

"Superman."

"You don't sound happy to see me, Dick."

"What was your first clue?"

"I heard what you said, you know. To Ted and the others."

"Then why are you here? To _make_ me change my mind? Because 'no one can say no to Superman'? Well you know what, Clark? Let me be the first. Ask me if I want to join the Justice League."

"Alright," said Superman, in that easy-going tone of his. "Dick, would you honor me by joining the Justice League?"

"**_No_**."

Superman sighed. "Are you finished? Because if you are, then I'd like to tell you that I'm not here to try and persuade you to join up. You don't want to be in the League, ok, that's fine. But you're having some problems, Dick and you're hurting the ones you care about. I just want to help you."

"I don't need your _help_, Clark, and I'd hardly call what I did to Rick and the others 'hurting'.

"I wasn't talking about _them_."

Batman's eyes went wide with shock. "…how…how did you _know_?"

Superman said nothing, but gave Batman a look that said, 'Do you really need to ask?'

Dick sighed. "I wasn't trying to hurt, you know. I just wanted to make things right."

"And _this_ is the best solution you could come up with? Come on, Dick, I know you, this isn't like you. If Bruce were here…"

Suddenly, something inside of Dick snapped and he shouted, "BUT HE'S **NOT** HERE, CLARK, **_I AM_** ! And I am sick and tired of everyone trying to compare me to him! I'M NOT BRUCE, AND I NEVER WILL BE!"

"I'm not _asking_ you to be Bruce, Dick."

"Yes you are! _Everyone_ is! 'Come and join the Justice League, Dick! _Bruce_ was in the League when _he_ was Batman.' 'Why are you doing that, Dick, _Bruce_ would have done it differently.' 'If _Bruce_ were here…'"

Superman sighed. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Dick. Your father was a great man, and despite our differences, he…he helped teach me what it _means_ to be a hero. We _miss _him, Dick. I'm sorry if that put any pressure on you."

"You don't understand, Clark. I was the _first_ superhero sidekick. I was the original. I was in his shadow since day one, and I still haven't been able to step out from it. All my life, I've been trying to prove to everyone that I'm not just the Batman's little helper. I _loved_ Bruce, Clark. He obviously wasn't 'father of the year' material, but he was _mine_ and I loved him. I just…I just don't want to _be_ him. And with the Titans…with the Titans I finally felt like I had come into my own, you know? When the Titans formed, I wasn't just a sidekick anymore, I was a _leader_. The Titans are my _family_…I love them…"

"Then you shouldn't _lie_ to them. _Any_ of them."

Batman looked down at the ground and clenched his fists to ease the pain he felt in his heart. "I know…"

* * *

"C'mon, Buddy! MOVE IT!"

"You know, Miss G, most people only get road rage when they're _driving_. I mean, I've heard of back-seat driving, but back-seat road rage? You sure are an innovator."

"Shut it, Jaime, I'm _not_ in the mood. The Wayne Foundation charity event starts in twenty minutes and we're _late_ because of this god awful traffic."

"We'll be fine, Miss G. It's just another couple of blocks."

Sighing, Dick said, "I just wish this whole thing would be _over_ already."

"Mmm. Me too.", said Raven in her sultry tone. "Don't forget about _tonight_, Rich. You _promised_."

Jaime cocked an eyebrow at the obvious sexual tension between two of his passengers in the back seat. Thankfully, he merely assumed that Raven was perhaps having an affair with Dick Grayson. 'I hope Batman never finds out,' Jaime thought. 'I kinda like that Grayson guy, and I'd hate to see what the Bat would do to the guy that's sleeping around with his wife.' Deciding that he didn't want to get involved anymore than he already was, Jaime rolled up the soundproof separator, giving a bit of privacy to the backseat of the limo.

"Hey!" shouted Babs in a loud whisper, "That reminds me! No PDA, you two. We have an image to uphold here. Dick, you're a rich, _single_ member of high society, tonight. And Raven? You're his _bodyguard_. We can't risk either of you breaking character, the press and paparazzi are going to be _everywhere_. And I'm sorry Dick, but if some women come up to you and start flirting, you'd better flirt back, or I'll have your _hide_ if our stocks drop."

"But Babs…" Raven pleaded, but it was to no avail.

"I'm sorry Rae, I know it sucks, but this is the price Dick has to pay to keep his identity secret."

"But what if someone attacks the charity event?" Dick asked.

"Then you're going to do absolutely nothing, Dick. Raven can handle it, and Booster's identity is public anyway, so he can help out too. Plus…I heard rumors that Superman was sighted in Gotham today. You know anything about that, Dick?"

"No," he said sharply, "I haven't seen him."

It was a few hours later, and the charity party was in full force. Everyone who was anyone in the corporate world was there, and Richard and Raven, although no longer in each other's company, were both completely and utterly miserable.

Raven was outside, standing alone on a balcony overlooking the city. She felt awkward and out of place at the party, and came outside to catch a bit of fresh air. That was over an hour ago.

"Hey, Rae. What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, hey Rick. I just…didn't like it in there. These kinds of high society things…they just aren't my style."

"Yeah," said Rick, "tell me about it. I'm running Tyler Co. purely out of love for my father, rest his soul. All I really want to do is be Hourman."

Raven smirked. "You do look really good in that hood."

Rick laughed. "Why Raven, are you coming on to me?"

Raven smiled. "Well, since I haven't grown any new _appendages_ since the last time we talked, I'd probably be wasting my time, huh?"

"_New appendages_. Cute, Raven. Very cute. So seriously, what's bothering you?"

"It's nothing really…"

"Oh hey, Raven, before I forget, I'm planning a little tax-write off for the end of the summer."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm taking a boat cruise in Africa, want to come?"

"Africa? _Really?_" Raven's eyes lit up.

Rick grinned wickedly. "Yeah, I'm doing a cruise up a river, maybe you know it? It's kinda famous. It's called 'de-nial.'"

Raven groaned. "I thought all gay guys were supposed to be _witty_. That joke is older than some of the _first editions_ I have."

Chuckling, Rick said, "No seriously, Raven. Something's bothering you. Spill it."

"It's…it's Robin."

"Dick? What did he do?"

"He didn't do _anything_ it's just…there's something about him. Like he's hiding something from me, I don't know."

Rick leaned up against the same railing Raven had attached herself to for the past hour or so. "Well, now that you mention it, he did seem a bit defensive today, I mean, you know, more so than normally."

"Well you know how much he hates it when you Leaguers try to recruit him."

"Yeah, I know, but there was something else about him today. Like he was on the defensive right from the start."

"Its just…well…Rick, can you keep this between just the two of us?"

"Of course, Rae."

"Well, last night, Rich got home really late, he was out all night on patrol, and I waited up for him, like always. And I can understand that he was tired and didn't want to…you know, but it went beyond that. He didn't kiss me, he barely touched me, he just went to sleep. He's _never_ done that before. And I mean, look at him." Raven pointed through the glass doors to inside the party where Dick was surrounded by high class women, all the while putting on a smile that Raven could only hope was fake. "And today, after meeting with you guys, he disappeared for a couple of hours, and wouldn't tell me where he went. Rick…you don't…you don't think he's cheating on me, do you?"

"_What_? God, no, Raven. That man _loves_ you. He'd _never_ cheat on you."

Raven wiped a stray tear from her eye and smiled softly at her friend. "Yeah…you're right, Rick. I don't know what I was thinking. I know Rich loves me. My trust for him has never wavered before; I don't know why I'm starting now. Thanks, Rick."

"Anytime, Rae."

* * *

"God, Rave, tonight was _hell_." Richard and Raven were back at Wayne Manor and had retreated to their bedroom as soon as they got back from the party.

"Hell or _not_, Robin, you'd better not try and weasel out of your promise. You're _mine_ tonight."

Sweat began to form on Rich's forehead as Raven pressed herself up against his body.

"Mmmm", Raven purred, "I've been _waiting_ for this, Robin." After leaning up to kiss him, Raven started to undress herself.

"Uh…Raven…maybe we should-"

"Uh, uh, Robin. This is _my_ night. _I'm_ calling the shots tonight." She flashed him a sexy smile and pushed him backwards onto the bed. As Raven climbed on top of her husband, Richard started to break out in a cold, nervous sweat.

"Raven…wait."

"What's wrong, Rich?"

"I…I _can't_."

That same hurt look washed over Raven's face again and a tear threatened to fall from her eye. "But…but _why_ Rich? What's the matter? Why are you acting like this?"

Robin tried to make the words come out of his mouth, but once again, they failed him. Finally, he was able to say, "Raven…I'm so sorry."

The tears were falling freely now, and in between sobs, Raven said, "Just tell me _why_, Rich. If you're cheating on me, just _tell_ me…"

"I…I'm not cheating on you, Raven. God…I'd never do that. I…I love you, but…I'm sorry. I _lied_ to you, Raven."

"You…you _lied_?"

The pain on Robin's face was unmistakable as he forced out the hardest words of his life. "Raven…I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you…but…I lied. I…I never got my memory back. Any of it. I…I still have my amnesia."

Raven's mouth fell open as she stared at her husband in shock. "You…"

"I didn't want to hurt you, Raven, I swear. I…I heard you and Star talking, right before we left the Tower…and…and I just…I just didn't want you to be sad, Raven. You gave me so much since I woke up in that hospital room and…and I just…I wanted to give you something back. I'm sorry."

"But…but you…you knew…"

"Things that you didn't tell me. I know. I…" Robin sighed and walked over to his suitcase. He opened it and turned it so that Raven could see its contents. Nestled in the suitcase, were Raven's diaries.

"My…you read my…"

"I…I didn't know what to do, Raven. I wanted to make you happy so bad…but I didn't know how to do it. I thought…I thought maybe if I could convince you for just a few days, maybe it would be enough time, and my memory would come back for real. But…but I just can't do this anymore. I can't keep this up, I wanted to make you happy, but all I'm doing is hurting you. I'm so sorry, Raven."

Tears filling her eyes, Raven used her powers to summon her clothes to her, and then, without so much as a word, she disappeared. Robin didn't know if he would ever see her again.

Suddenly, the door to the bedroom burst open again. "YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Babs…"

"You son of a bitch! I was heading over here to tell you two what a great job you did tonight, and to apologize for being such a slave driver when it came to keeping in character, but what do I hear instead? I hear that you've been lying to us this whole damn time! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER?"

Tears filling his eyes, Robin collapsed onto his bed. "God, Babs, you think I don't feel bad enough?"

"No," she said sharply, "I don't think you do." Barbara wheeled herself over to the suitcase. "You read _all_ of these? How the hell did you find the time?"

"I didn't. I…I just read the important ones."

"And how were you able to tell which ones were important and which ones weren't? It's a diary, _Dick_, not an index."

Robin hung his head in shame. "I…figured it out by her handwriting. Whenever the lines seemed stressed, or the coloring was darker…I was able to tell when she was excited…and…and those are the entries I read."

Barbara stared at him in shock. "You…you used one of Bruce's _detective skills_ to read your wife's diary…JUST SO YOU COULD LIE TO HER AND BE CONVINCING ABOUT IT?" There was fire in Barbara Gordon's eyes, her rage was undeniable. "You're always saying that you want people to think of you as your own man, you're always complaining about living in his shadow…but you know what, Dick? You want to know _why_ people say that? Because no matter how hard you fight it, you're always going to do something like _this_. And do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're _just_ like him, Dick. You're just like _Bruce_."


End file.
